Saturday, November 20, 2010

Lately I've Been Dreaming...

Lately I've been dreaming...

Of faraway places, and wide open spaces. My physical self is here, doing the things I've always done, but my spirit is far, far away.

I'm somewhere up along the Diamantina, or down the Birdsville Track.

I'm out beyond the back-of-beyond, where the spirits of the ancients are still dancing in the Dreamtime. Where the earth refuses to bend to man's will, but hums to the same rhythm she has always hummed to since the beginning of time, unhurried and unspoilt.

I'm anywhere, but here...

Perhaps it is a yearning to return to my roots - seldom acknowledged, but there just the same, embedded deeply in the very essence of who I am.

 I am from the land where blue sky stretches from horizon to far horizon. The land where the night stars make you stand in awe for their sheer brilliance and abundance, and you remember that you are so very small in the grand scheme of things.

Or perhaps it is the vague sense of unease, about how my sons will grow up. In the most secret imaginings that one dreams for their children, I dreamt that my sons would have much the same childhood as I did: they would learn to read the clouds and the wind and know when rain was coming, to feel an affinity with nature and the land, and have a healthy lack of dependancy on technical gadgets.

The best that I can offer them, is the occasional visit home to the big-sky country, a brief glimpse into another world, before returning home to their suburban life, where Ben 10 rules supreme.

The best that I can offer them is a small veggie garden, and walking in the park, and the knowledge that nature must compete with friends, tv, social gatherings, clever marketing ploys and technology for their attentions.

I wish for my sons to have deep strong roots - the kind that anchors you all through life, with a strong and satisfying sense of who you are and where you belong.

But can one put down such roots when the ground beneath their feet is covered in concrete? Where traffic and technology drown out the sounds of birds singing, and the wind rushing through trees? Where the only wind through one's hair, happens underneath the air-conditioning vent?

Can one have roots and have wings? Or just one, but not the other...not really?

I wonder over these things.

Mostly I am happy with my life. I chose this life.

I'm blessed in so many ways.

But lately I've been dreaming...

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