Saturday, March 26, 2011

An Open Letter To Julia Gillard

Dear Ms Gillard,

I consider myself to be an environmentalist.

I use no chemicals in my home or garden. I buy as much organic  as I can afford. I never turn my heater on unless I really need to. I use cloth nappies, etc, etc...

So, it may come as a surprise to discover that I've got some rather strong objections to your carbon tax. I see that you are "determined to price carbon". Good for you!! But what does the rest of the country think about it?

You may be deeply convicted that:

a.) Global Warming is happening.
b.) It is caused by carbon emissions.
c.) Humans are the problem causing the carbon emissions.

d.) A carbon tax will change all this...

But it is not your job to sell your convictions to us. It. Is. Your. Job. To. Do. The. Will. Of. The. People. That is why you are a public servant!

As our elected leader (actually, you are not even our elected leader, since, in actual fact, you became leader due to backroom deals, but anyway.) it is your job, to serve us!!

Australia is supposed to be a democratic country. If this is the case, then you need to take your carbon tax (and your flood levy, and your mining tax for that matter) to an election and let the people decide what we want. Because you failed to tell us what your real intentions were before the last election, so how could we be expected to make an informed decision, if you tell us one thing and then do another?

As an aside, what will happen if a carbon tax fails to make one iota of difference to temperatures? What next? A one-child policy, perhaps? How about a Fart Tax?

Or a Breathing Tax? All citizens required to be implanted with a Breath-o-meter, to make sure we are not contributing more than our share of carbon dioxide?

(You do realise that carbon dioxide is essential to life, don't you? That trees and vegetation cannot survive without it? I mean, we don't want to lower it TOO much, otherwise that would cut off our nose in spite of our face, sort of thing...)

(You do also realise that an active volcano spews so much carbon into the atmosphere, it immediately negates all our carbon-reducing efforts for the next five years or more. There are about 200 active volcanoes on earth, as we speak. Hmmmm, this is getting more and more pointless the more I think about it. We'd better find a way to tax volcanoes.)

I've got a better idea...why don't we introduce a "Broken Promises Tax", specially for politicians?

So, please don't waste $30 million of our taxpayers money, to try and convince us that a carbon tax is going to save the world. Have the decency to take it to an election, and let the public decide themselves.

In the meantime, I've come up with some measures that will make yourself and Bob Brown feel better AND prove that you are actually genuine about wanting to help the environment.

1.) Next time you must jetset around the world to meet very important people, and give very important speeches, perhaps you could consider travelling via rowboat. Less emissions, etc....

2.) Replace the toilet paper in parliament house with recycled newspaper.

3.) Actually, on second thoughts, simply get rid of parliament house. All those fluorescent lights and year-round air-conditioning!! Simply set up a tent outside. In Summer, you can fan yourself with all those forms and paperwork, and in Winter you will be just fine, since you are all full of hot air....

4.) Get rid of MP's cars, and provide them with bicycles. Mr Abbot will probably manage okay but the rest will need to work on their fitness. But it's all for a good cause!!

5.) Quit dying your hair. Every time I look at your un-naturally bright hair, all I can see are toxic chemicals. Can't be good for the environment?

6.) Make a commitment not to print out advertising material before the next election.

Oh, and here's a suggestion, that I'm sure the majority of Australians will agree on...

Bring our troops home, and stop fighting fraudulent wars that have only ever benefited oil companies, weapons companies and bankers, yet left the civilians worse off than ever.

By the way, Julia...

How much carbon emissions are created by sending troops around the world, manufacturing arms and munitions, manufacturing bombs/missiles/and other weapons, deploying helicopters/tankers/armed vehicles, and all the other things associated with warfare???

And you want to charge me for using some electricity to cook dinner for my family?

Hardly seems fair...!

Let me assure you Julia, that I will NOT agree to ANY new taxes, whilever we are wasting money on pointless wars. NEVER!!!!

Also, I will NOT agree to ANY new taxes, whilever we are wasting money on ridiculous things like $800 per week to furnish the Governor-Generals residences with cut flowers.

If you are serious about helping our environment, why not have a rating system for companies based on a set of environmentally friendly criteria, and then tax them accordingly. After all, what is the point of lowering carbon emissions, while continuing to poison our rivers and soils with chemical waste??

Why not increase import fees? Not only will this help our own producers and farmers, it means less stuff shipped halfway around the world, when we could have made it ourselves.

Oh, wait. The World Trade Organisation will have a fit over that last one, and accuse us of putting up "barriers to trade". Heaven forbid we look after our own producers!!

How about refusing to import anything that was grown in areas that was Amazon rainforest (that is....until it was bulldozed to make way for genetically modified soybeans.) Even better, let's simply not allow anything into our countries from polluters and unethical companies like Monsanto.

Oh wait. The World Trade Organisation won't let us do that either.

Hang on a minute....

Do we live in a democracy, or not?

Now I'm confused!

Disgruntled Citizen.

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