The Secret Of Real Financial Freedom

I know "financial freedom" is one of the latest buzzwords. People are working on building income streams and businesses on the side.

Don’t get me wrong, I think that's great! I believe in being proactive. I believe in working towards the life you want!

   

But I think freedom is a state of mind, and not the state of our bank account.

If our freedom is dependent upon having “enough” money/income (whatever that mysterious figure might be), then we are not free at all. In fact, we are the opposite of free. We are enslaved.

I contend that true financial freedom is knowing that you’ll be just fine, whether you have a lot of money or a little money. Because you already know that you have the drive, the creativity, the confidence to create opportunities, no matter what you’re circumstances are, or what the economy/your employer/the government does.

Too many people spend their lives in unfulfilling, soul-destroying jobs, so they can have money, so they can have options. Why not use your beautiful mind and create options now...and save yourself all that drudgery?

Let go of the limiting mindset that we must have money in order to have “freedom”, or options, or to live the life we want. Money doesn’t create options, YOU create options!! The truth is that most people don't really want more money, they want the lifestyle they assume can only be bought with money...

My husband and I wanted to be out of debt and have lots of time to spend with our children. We tried working harder, longer hours, saving more...all the usual things. But we seemed to be constantly going around in circles, never really getting anywhere. Because we assumed that the only way to be out of debt and spend lots of time with our children was to have more money. 

Then we started to think outside the box. We sold our house (sure that was a hard decision, but life is more important than a house), sold most of our stuff and moved overseas, where we live with extended family while we wait to build our own house. We have very little money...but we also have no debt and lots of time to spend with our children. 

Let’s say you want to travel, but you don’t have much money. Is the dream out of reach? Is it impossible? Of course not! You could:

House-swap 

Work overseas

House-sit

Exchange Program

Boat-sit

Back-pack

Couch-surf

Start a crowd-funding campaign 

Find a host family and stay with them, then return the favor when they come to visit you

Be a travel companion for someone who might be unable to travel alone

Freelance write or teach English
Get a job on a cruise-ship

Do something bold, like approaching a company and telling them you’ll proudly fly their company flag while standing on Mount Everest/Running with the Bulls/whatever adventure you’ve got planned...as long as they pay for your ticket. Who knows, the worst they can do is say no, right?! (People and businesses can be surprisingly agreeable, if there’s something in it for them.)

The options are limited only by your imagination. 

There are people who travel the world full-time, yet they are not wealthy!! They swap, negotiate, work their way around the world, and they do it far cheaper than it costs to live in any of the major cities of the world...

To think that you MUST have money in order to have options is slave thinking.  Free minds know that there are options everywhere. What’s more, free minds create them!!

There was a Canadian guy called Kyle MacDonald. A few years ago, he was unemployed and broke, but he wanted to buy a house. Conventional thinking says it would be “impossible”. (Conventional thinking also keeps most of us in 9-5 jobs that slowly snuff out our inner fire, and then we retire and then we die. Who wants conventional thinking?)

On his desk was a red paper clip. It gave him an idea. He went on Craigslist, and asked to swap. He found someone who wanted the red paperclip, and swapped it for a fish-shaped pen. Then he swapped that pen for a door-knob.  And so on, and so on, until he was swapping a jetski and a motorbike, and eventually...a house. Read his fascinating blog here.

The moral of the story is: there are opportunities everywhere. Most people don’t see them, because they have never been taught to see them. (The other lesson is that we usually have something that somebody else wants, and vice versa....so learn to barter!)

It’s a ridiculous notion when you think about it. We collect some little pieces of paper in our wallet, and suddenly we have options? No, friend, we always had options!

You know the saying: “Many people spend their health trying to gain wealth, and then have to spend their wealth trying to re-gain their health?" You don’t need to spend the best years of your life and health in order to have financial freedom. You can have financial freedom today, if you just realize this...

True financial freedom is being free of the fear that you might not have “enough”. True financial freedom is being free of the limiting belief that you must have money to live the kind of life you dream of. (You don't.)

True financial freedom is knowing you have the intelligence, the creativity, the willpower to create options beyond the sphere of money. No global financial crisis, no economic downturn, no job redundancy can take those things from you!! Now isn’t that real freedom?

Everything you need for an awesome life is already inside you. What a relief! Isn’t that real freedom? It can’t be stolen, embezzled, lost, eroded by inflation, or poorly invested. 

Now isn’t that real freedom?

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How To Learn A New Language In Less Than 6 Months

How To Learn a New Language in Less Than 6 Months

Have you heard the old concept that children can pick up other languages much quicker than adults? It seems to be true…but have you ever wondered why?

My eldest son was 6 years old when we came to Tonga. He knew three Tongan words: kai (eat), lotu (pray) and ha’u (come here). A week later, we sent him off to the local village school, where all lessons are taught in Tongan. He was really thrown in at the deep end, and I had some serious misgivings.

I don’t doubt that he struggled in the beginning, but within a month he was semi-fluent (enough to understand, and be understood by others) and by the end of that semester (5 months later) he was fully fluent, and ranked third in class, where all the other children were native speakers.

One day, I was listening to my children playing outside and I suddenly had an epiphany as to why my children had picked up the language so quickly. There are five reasons for this, and when you understand them, any adult can use the same principles to be speaking a new language in less than 6 months.

But first..

6 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD LEARN ANOTHER LANGUAGE:

• People will be delighted that you’ve made the effort to communicate with them in their own language. It’s kind of arrogant to assume that others will bend over backwards to speak YOUR language every time you wish to communicate, especially if you are the visitor in their country.
• You’ll better understand the culture, since language and culture are so intricately connected. 
• Learning a second language improves memory, creativity, concentration levels and helps prevent dementia. 
• Being able to speak a second language literally allows you to “see” the world from a different perspective. 
•  The confidence you gain from mastering another language is priceless.
•  The ability to speak another language opens up opportunities for friendships, relationships and job/business advancement that might have otherwise been overlooked.

Now, how to go about learning a language as quickly and efficiently as any kid? Let’s take a look at the reasons why kids are such efficient little learners.

#1 Kids talk to other kids! As adults we are at somewhat of a disadvantage when starting out with a new language. Generally, we find ourselves amongst other adults and listening to adult conversations, which may be anything from politics to religion to local gossip or current affairs. If you’re new to the language, the vast majority of the conversation will go right over your head. 

Contrast this with kids, however. Their conversations are simple and generally use a lot of repetition. They’re usually playing at the same time, so their conversation will be more like: “Throw me the ball” and “Stand here” or “It’s my turn” or “Give it to me”, usually repeated several times over the course of the conversation. 

So, the next time you are in a situation where people are speaking another language, seek out the children and join in their activities. Guaranteed within half an hour, you’ll have some simple phrases under your belt, which can be used in everyday life.

How To Use This To Your Advantage: Hang out with kids more. Listen and repeat. Kids are awesome teachers.

#2 Kids are not burdened by the expectation that learning a new language is “difficult” and will take a long time. 

When we have beliefs and preconceived ideas (whether they’re correct, or not), we then look for evidence to “prove” that they’re correct. In this sense, we become our own worst enemies when the “proof” we’re seeking is that we are terrible at learning something new, we just make mistake after mistake, it's going to take years before we're any good at this…

As “A Course in Miracles” states: “Once you form a belief, you attach all your senses and all your life to it’s survival”. 

Kids are not held back by any of these notions. They just get in there and start repeating what they hear. It’s quite simple, really.

How to Use This To Your Advantage: Believe that you can, and will, speak fluently in another language within 6 months. Look for evidence that it is not only possible, but entirely do-able, and you’ll start finding it everywhere.

#3. Kids are courageous. Generally speaking, kids are not as self-conscious as we adults, and less concerned about making a fool of themselves. For example: I was listening to my (then 3 year old) son playing with his cousin. They were using the kind of simple phrases I mentioned earlier. As I listened carefully, I realized my son knew some of the words but not enough to actually string them together into a sentence. But that didn’t stop him from trying!

I had an epiphany then, because I realized if it were me, I would simply revert to English, or stay quiet. How many learning opportunities I must have missed, for fear of looking like an idiot! I decided then to learn from my children, and quit worrying about correct grammar and whether my sentence was perfect, and practice what I knew, anyway. I’ve improved in leaps and bounds ever since.

Yes, you may meet the occasional doofus who will remind you for the next five years that you once pronounced “hide” so it sounded like “masturbate” (Every Tongan will know what I’m talking about here…) Yes, you’ll occasionally say things you didn’t intend to say. Yes, you may tell everyone that you are going to cut down the undergrowth, while actually saying that you are going to cut the pubic hair. (True story!) 

Despite these unfortunate (but often hilarious) mishaps, the vast majority of people will love that you are making the effort, their respect for you grows, and they’ll help you out when they see you struggling to pronounce a word or put a sentence together using strange hand gestures. It goes without saying that a sense of humor comes in handy, when learning a new language…

It also helps to remember that if we always hide our struggles or “weaknesses”, we deny others the opportunity to help us and show us how much they care and support us. 

How To Use This To Your Advantage: Make learning the language a priority. If you become the butt of a few jokes along the way, then so be it. Also, it’s okay to not be perfect, to not be an expert. When you humble yourself to be a learner, you’ll find teachers everywhere, ready and willing to help you out.

#4 Kids are naturally curious about everything. We learn and retain information that is relevant to us. For a kid, that means a lot, because they’re fascinated by everything! They want to know why the sky is blue, why people get married, who made the fish in the ocean, how come ants can walk upside-down and how long is a piece of string!

Because we’re constantly bombarded by information, our brain filters out that which is not deemed useful or relevant. When you’re a child, trying to figure out how the world works, it is a matter of great importance to figure out this kind of stuff, so you can develop some sense of security and safety within it. You tend to learn pretty quickly, if your brain deems it necessary for your survival.

How To Use This To Your Advantage: Be curious! Ask too many questions. A sense of curiosity and wonder opens the mind, so that learning is inevitable. It also makes learning fun.

#5 Kids practice, even when they don't "have to". One thing I noticed was that, if given the choice (such as talking with someone who was also fluent in English), I would immediately revert back to English. Almost all of my conversations with my husband happened in English, because it was easier, and it was what I was comfortable with.

Unfortunately, real growth happens when we step outside our comfort zones!

My kids, on the other hand, when confronted with someone who was also fluent in English, would still speak in Tongan, or perhaps a mix of English and Tongan. This practicing whenever possible not only helps to reinforce language associations and improve pronunciation, but it helps to develop facial muscles which may be under-used in our own language.

How To Use This To Your Advantage: Practice whenever possible, even if "easier" and more comfortable options are available to you.

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My Incredible Experience of Travelling With No Money.

I went to Australia – by myself – for Christmas and New Year, to visit my family.

When I booked my ticket in October, I wasn’t sure we could really afford for me to have this trip, but it was my mum's 60^th birthday party , and we had organized a party for her.

I began to eagerly list all the things I might do in Australia. I could spend time with my family, then spend the last week in Sydney, sourcing and packing a crate of supplies for our business, shopping and catching up with a couple of my friends! I could get a years supply of books to bring back with me (Imagine!).

But then the weeks flew by, our income trickled to a halt. So I began to compromise.

“I guess I don’t really need to hire a car in Sydney. I could take public transport…”

“ Oh well, I suppose I don’t have to spend that many days in Sydney…”

“ I’ll just have to forget about getting a crate of supplies. Maybe I can just purchase some extra luggage, and bring it back in my bag…”

During this time I was filled with an heavy sense of anxiety about having enough money for the trip. When I delved into my feelings, I had my first surprising insight.

Money is the crutch I’ve used to avoid facing my deepest, darkest fear. 

For all my adult life, I’ve been secretly afraid of being a nuisance to others. This fear has caused me to: not pursue friendships, discourage others from helping me, stay silent when given bad service, pretend I was ok when really I wasn’t...

Now, I realize the exact incident this stems from and I remember how unwanted I felt at the time (rightly or wrongly). I have done everything in my power to avoid ever feeling that way again, including always trying to pay my own way (thank you very much!), encouraging my friends to tell me their problems but not “burdening” them with my own..

I figured that if I’m so useful and give more than I ask for, then surely people will always want me around? Surely I won’t ever have to face that cold, lonely feeling of being unwanted ever again?

This was the real reason I was feeling so anxious about the trip. If I didn’t have money to pay my own way, contribute towards groceries etc…then I might become a nuisance – and that must be avoided at all costs!! 

The simple act of recognizing and acknowledging my fear was enough to release a lot of the anxiety.

Time sped by, money was tight, and then gradually, I had to begin letting go of my compromises, too. 

By some miracle, I’d managed to keep some money in our bank account. One day, I simply got out of bed and decided to take out the money to buy fruit and groceries for the family, and leave the rest with my husband to buy food while I was away.

With this decision, I finally released the very last hope I was clinging to – that I would have enough spending money to buy some clothes for the kids, and maybe some health foods to bring back with me.

The feeling of relief when I let go of that last desire was immense. I almost danced with joy. And therein was my second insight.

99% of the time our thoughts about a certain event/circumstance are worse than the actual event. Our anxiety/frustration/worry is simply caused by us wanting something other than what is.

When we let go of our desire for things to be different, the frustration/anxiety/annoyance disappears.

After that point, with only a week or two before flying out, I began to get really excited about my trip. After all, I hadn’t seen my family, or been back to Oz in almost a year. I began to see it as an adventure, a new experience, an opportunity to just "be me" without money (my safety crutch) and my children (my other safety crutches. It's amazing how you can avoid a.) starting up conversations, b.) looking awkward/lonely in the corner by yourself, or c.) meeting new people...by fussing/being distracted over your children...)

During this time, I had an email from my friend Kylie Ofiu, who assured me that her experience of traveling with no money had been wonderful, that she was looked after at every turn and she got to do things that she would probably never have done if she’d had money.

This further confirmed my decision to see this as an exciting adventure, which I could simply allow to unfold before me, rather than trying to control every step along the way (my usual modus operandi).

This was to be my first time away from my 2yo daughter. I had worried over whether she’d be okay without me (even though she was surrounded by dad, brothers, aunties and nanna). I had worried that I’d be okay without her!

As per usual, the thinking about it was worse than the actual occasion. She cried when I left and I felt teary and awful. But as I sat in the departure lounge, I simply made up my mind that it would do me (or her) no good whatsoever to mope or fret. I would simply enjoy this time with my family, and when I came back, I would enjoy being back with my children again.

And so it was…

 I boarded that plane in the tropics, dressed in the coolest possible clothes and proceeded to shiver  my way across the Pacific. Who knew airplanes were such frigidly cold places???

I arrived at Sydney airport in the evening and headed to the ATM. We'd had a small amount of money come into our account, and I was relieved to see that I had almost $200AUD. 

Somehow I had to make it last 2 and a half weeks. At this point, I had given up all thought of buying clothes for the kids, and health foods. I set the money aside to buy my nieces and nephews Christmas presents for our family get-together, some food while traveling, and my train ticket back to Sydney, at the end of my holiday.

My family live in Central NSW, about 8 hours drive from Sydney. I had a train ticket to travel west, early the next morning. I’d decided in advance that I would simply bunker down for the night, somewhere in the airport (another adventure!). I was pretty sure I’d seen others doing this before.

I wandered around the shops for a while, delighting in looking at all the stuff. I spent an age in the book-shop, flicking through the books and reading bits and pieces. I decided that I just had to have a book to keep me company during a night spent in an airport.

So I decided to pick out a few that I liked, then buy whichever one was the cheapest.

The cheapest one turned out to be “E-Squared” by Pam Grout. Little did I know…It was a decision that would set the tone for my trip (and long afterwards too - I've just re-read it for the 4th time, I'm so enamored of it!).

Feeling pleased with my purchase, I wandered around some more, until my feeling pleased soon turned into feeling panicked when I realized that the shops were all closing, and there were no more flights leaving or arriving after 11pm.

Yes, friends, I had entirely forgotten to factor Sydney’s flight curfew into my plans.

Would I be kicked out of the airport then? Would I have to spend the night on the street somewhere? At this point, I may have been indulging in a few little “poor me” thoughts. One panicky phone call back to my husband later, which succeeded only in panicking my husband as well, I decided I’d better do something.

I was too nervous to ask one of the "official" looking people, so I approached the friendly girl who had served me at Vodafone earlier. 

She assured me that:

Yes, the airport does close from 11pm – 3am

No, you’re not meant to sleep in the airport, but….

Yes, people always do, and…

No, they won’t kick me out.

Phew! The adventure was back on again…

She pointed me around the corner near the restrooms, where there were some chairs, and a few back-packers already settled in for the night. I sidled into a chair, trying to look nonchalant and experienced at this sort of mildly subversive behavior.

I made myself comfortable, put my suitcase under my feet, and opened up my book. It was fascinating, but I soon became uncomfortably aware of the blast of cold night air that rushed in every time the big automatic doors opened and closed. (My singlet-top and sarong were hardly suitable..)

There were night workers on little tractors that beeped loudly, bringing in great loads of trolleys, workmen fixing lights…it was a wonder anyone slept through the noise, not to mention the fluorescent lights glaring down on us.

I rummaged through my suitcase for another sarong and wrapped this one around my shoulders in an attempt to keep warm. The chairs kept filling up, until there were about 30 – 35 of us. The seasoned back-packers were prepared, with beanies and fluffy socks and jackets.

I soon gave up all pretense of trying to look “nonchalant and experienced” as I began pulling items of clothing out of my suitcase and draping them around/over/under myself in an effort to stay warm. My feet were freezing. Why, oh why, had I not thought to pack even one measly pair of socks!

When my eyes began to feel too gritty, I’d lay my book down and try to have a little sleep. Unfortunately, we’re talking about upright chairs with metal armrests. Hardly sleeping material! With my small backpack lodged under my neck, and twisted at an angle, I managed to doze off a few times.

I should mention here, that I was booked to leave on the train quite early the next morning. In order to get to Central station on time, I’d need to leave the airport by just after 6am. If I missed my train, I would be stranded in Sydney, and it would take nearly all the money I had left to catch another train the following day.

Still, I didn't bother to set my alarm, since sleep thus far had been confined to light dozing for no longer than ten or fifteen minutes at a stretch.

At some point during the night, I decided to start the first experiment outlined in E-Squared. It was simply making a request that the existence of God, or the “universal energy field” be proven to me within the next 48hrs. Some simple, but undeniable, proof that a Higher Power was not only present, but listening...

Turns out, I didn’t have to wait very long. Sometime after 3:30am, I finally fell into a very deep, very exhausted, sleep. At long last, I “came to” with the sensation of something moving on my feet. Still, it took me a few minutes to realize I wasn’t dreaming, there really was something moving on my feet! I groggily opened my eyes and saw a girl on the chair opposite me. In her sleep, she had stretched out her legs, and rested her fluffy sock-clad feet on mine. While I reveled in the delicious sleepy feeling of warm feet, I suddenly realized with horror that it was daylight already!! I scrabbled around for my phone, and looked at the time. Ten minutes to six. Just enough time to go to the bathroom, have a quick wash and change of clothes, then head to the train. Phew!

It wasn’t until I was safely settled on my train, heading westwards, that I allowed myself to sit back and relax. And I got to thinking…If that girl hadn’t put her feet on mine…and if she hadn’t been fidgeting in her sleep at just that precise time and woken me…And then I realized. I’d gotten the sign I was looking for! Indeed, Some One was taking care of me.

The feeling of peace – of knowing that I was being cared for, no matter what my budget looked like – washed over me, and the remembrance of it stayed with me long after.

My mum and dad traveled an hour to meet me at the bus-station in a little country town. I went on to have the most loveliest of times, spent with my mum and dad, catching up with my brothers and their families, my Nanna and Grandad, and aunties and uncles, some visiting from interstate.

As impossible as it sounds, I began to notice that the things I had wished for (some new clothes, and health foods) started to manifest, in ways I never planned.

•      I found a gift card in my handbag from last Christmas, which still had $28 on it. Enough to buy a few things in the post-Christmas sales.
•        Two people cleaned out unwanted/too small clothes and gave them to me. One lot fitted my older son, the other lot fitted my younger son. 
•     For my birthday, my mum gave me some money and I was able to buy some (much-needed) new underwear.
•  My younger brother and his wife also gave me money for my birthday.
• My other brother and his wife, offered to buy me a plane ticket back to Sydney for my birthday, which I gladly accepted.
• My mum and I did a combined order of some health foods online, and when I tried to pay for my share, Mum gave the money back to me, so we used the money the following day for my birthday lunch and admission to the old motor museum.
• My granddad wanted the whole family to go out for Chinese one evening. I prepared to use some of my birthday money to pay for my meal. My granddad insisted on paying for everyone.

At every turn, I was looked after and made to feel loved. It was one of the most exhilarating, and humbling experiences of my life.

On the last morning, my parents drove me to the airport. Before I boarded the plane, my mum handed me an envelope. When the plane was in the air, I opened it and found $300. I cried, and said a silent prayer of thanks, as I watched the brown paddocks and roads turn into miniature toys below me.

As we flew over the mountains, I thought to myself: “Hey, wouldn’t it be great to see a peace sign from up here?!” and immediately laughed at the ridiculousness of it. Turns out, God has a sense of humor, too...

Less than ten minutes later, as we flew over the market gardens of Western Sydney, I looked down and could hardly believe my eyes. A huge circular sprinkler had made a giant circle of greenery, in a dry brown paddock, and the tracks leading to the sprinkler in the center, created a perfect “peace” sign.

A few minutes later, as we flew over the inner suburbs, I glanced down and saw the word "Peace" scrawled in spray-paint across an urban parking lot.

I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.

It seemed a fitting finish to a holiday, where I had proven, over and over, the message from the front cover of E-Squared: Our thoughts create our reality.

I had 7 hours in Sydney before catching my plane to Tonga, so I stored my baggage and took a train out to a suburban mall.

 I was able to get clothes for all my family (including myself. A terribly exciting thing when you have basically lived out of the same suitcase of clothes for almost two years.), a couple of books, some nuts and dried fruit, some natural toothpaste (another terribly exciting thing, after brushing our teeth with water for over 3 months), before heading back to the airport.

I boarded the night flight to Tonga, where I arrived at 2am local time and my husband and babies were all waiting to meet me…

My babies were excited about the Christmas presents from Nanna and Grandpa, but I was excited about the lessons I was bringing back with me, to incorporate into my life.

When I find myself getting stressed or tensed over something, I remind myself of what I experienced. God is abundant. The Universe is always in a state of constant flow. If things are "stuck", or not working out, it's not God....it's me, getting in the way, blocking the flow, trying desperately to force things to happen my way, when the Universe has already heard my wish and is trying to fulfill it in a way that I haven't yet dreamed of...

This feeling of energy and flow, has become a crucial indicator. When it's with me, I know I'm aligned with the Master Plan, and on the right track. When I'm "stuck", anxious or tense, I know it's time to re-think what I'm doing, release my need to be in control, and simply allow the next step to be revealed or manifested.

It all started out as a lesson about money, and turned into a life-changing, humbling lesson about that all-encompassing, all mighty, all knowing universal force that we know simply as: "God".

40 Things I Want To Do, Before I Turn 40.

I know I've said this before...but I really love that time between Christmas and New Year. I love reflecting on the year that was, reminding myself of lessons learned...and looking towards the year ahead, setting my goals and intentions.

This time happened to be busier than ever, since I was holidaying with family and we seemed to be either coming or going or entertaining visitors...all day, every day! (It was wonderful, though!) But I did get started on re-writing a list of things I really wanted to do in my life (a revised and updated version of my original "Bucket List"), and I'm aiming to complete the list by the time I turn 40.

I just turned 32, so that gives me 8 years.

I've tried to be really honest, and ask myself "Do I really want this for my life...or do I just think I should want it?" and I've really tried to delve inward for the answer that sits right with me. Therefore, a few of the items on my original list haven't made it onto this one.

#1. Perform a traditional Polynesian dance

#2. Record my own music

#3. Get paid to do public-speaking

#4. Write my memoirs

#5. Learn to play guitar (well enough to play "Hotel California")

#6. Become a mentor

#7. Visit Thailand

#8. Go to Africa

#9. Make a "Life Story" scrapbook for each of my children

#10. Do a 7-day fast

#11. Meet a Native American medicine-man

#12. Spend a year travelling, as a family, with no plan and no destination. Just exploring...

#13. Do a 3-month raw food cleanse

#14. Build a new house

#15. Host a raw-food dinner

#16. Grow a lush herb and vegetable garden

#17. Learn to design and make my own clothes

#18. Speak fluent Tongan

#19. Speak fluent Spanish

#20. Visit South America

#21. Do a wellness/detox retreat

#22. Research and document my family tree

#23. Cut my hair really short, just to see what it looks like! TICK!!  (See here: My First Visit to a Hairdresser in Over 5 Years (With Before and After Photos)

#24. Build at least 5 passive income streams

#25. See the Grand Canyon

#26 Road-trip across America

#27. See the Canadian Rockies

#28. Repay my debts (a loan from my parents, and a VET-Fee study loan from government.)

#29. Build a successful, sustainable health-food business in Tonga that will flourish WITHOUT me

#30. Visit Vava'u during whale season

#31. Travel around Oz

#32. Buy myself flowers

#33. Make a cheesecake

#34. Compete in a 10k race

#35. Become a qualified kinesiologist

#36. Have my aura read

#37. Meet my mentor, the lovely Brandi Bates, in person (She now lives in Belize)

#38. Become adept at yoga

#39. Become "fluent" in wild foods and medicinal plants

#40. Undecided. Will fill in later...

I've already started the ball rolling towards several items on this list, and will post a blog entry for every item ticked off the list.

Have you got a 40 Before 40 (or a 30 Before 30) List? Or a bucket list? If so, leave a link in the comments section so I can check it out.

Reflections On A Year in Paradise

Two days ago we arrived back in Australia, after a year in Tonga.

Looking back, it seems an incredibly brave thing to do – sell your home and belongings, take your three young children (our youngest was only 11 weeks old when we arrived in Tonga) to a foreign country to live.

But now it just seems kind of...well, normal.

It’s been an amazing year. I’m sooooo grateful I got to experience it!

But it wasn’t always easy. In fact, there were moments when it was SO hot and humid that I thought I would die if I didn’t cool down immediately, and I was sick, the kids were whining and clinging, I was sweating like a polecat, mosquitoes biting me, and I wondered if I wasn’t actually in hell-on-earth....?

But out of the hell-on-earth came a spiritual transformation, when I realised that this experience, this life is entirely what I make it. Heaven or hell. My choice!

So I decided to make it heaven. I chose to see that things happen FOR me, not TO me. Every single experience is perfectly, divinely necessary for me to fulfil my full potential, and therefore in my highest good.

I feel I have been thoroughly transformed on the inside. I wonder does it show?

ALL of my worst fears came true. ALL OF THEM! I got seriously sick, my son hated school, and I got bored. And it was the best thing that could have happened!! I survived them all! No. More than that....I thrived.

FEAR 1. Somebody would get really sick. I just never thought it would be me! I got a cut on my foot which turned septic. I couldn’t walk for two weeks, my leg was so swollen and excruciatingly painful. But I survived, thanks to an old nun and the healing salt waters of the ocean. Now I look at my scars and I’m thankful to be alive.

FEAR 2. My son would hate school. He couldn’t understand the language, thought it was a bit of a lark to pass the time. We found out that he was passing the time mucking around outside the classroom. His dad soon straightened him out!! We made him go to school, and we informed the teacher to treat him the same as any other child in the class. After that, he applied himself, and the kid who began the school year unable to understand a word, finished the year placed 3^rd in his grade!! He is now fluent in Tongan and recently performed a traditional Tongan war dance at a school concert.

FEAR 3. I would get bored and lonely. After 6 mths or so, I DID get bored. I missed the food, and the shops, and having my own kitchen, and hot water, and my own bedroom...and....and...

Then I had my revelation mentioned above.

I turned my energy into ideas, plans. I began writing a weekly health column in the national Tongan newspaper (I still am). I made two vegetable gardens. I started doing an evening yoga session in the backyard, and soon  4 other women began joining in.

See? All my fears came true....and it was the best thing that could have happened to me!! To us!

My teenage stepson came with us for the year. All six of us lived in ONE bedroom. Can you even begin to imagine? Some evenings, I had to put the baby to sleep 4 or 5 times, because people kept coming in and out, waking her up. Can you even begin to imagine? Sometimes I had some important thing to do on the internet, and so I organised someone to look after the kids, organised a lift into town, paid for an hour at the internet cafe, and then spent the hour trying to open one website. Can you even begin to imagine?

And yet, I have loved my time in Tonga. I am forever grateful!! I have learnt and grown and been stretched in ways I could never have forseen.

Our family has grown closer from the experience. Our children have a whole different view of the world. My husband and I are closer. When we lived in Australia, I was often frustrated and wished my husband would take the lead more, and not leave everything to me. Funnily enough, in Tonga the roles reversed. I stepped back because I wasn’t always sure what was expected or culturally acceptable, and he stepped forward and took the lead.

And so....what now?

You might have guessed...

We’ve decided to stay in Tonga for another few years. We’re here for the Summer, getting supplies and visiting family and friends. Next year, we’re planning to head back, build a house and start Tonga’s first ever health food shop!! I cannot wait to go shopping in my own shop ;-)

And  do you remember I once said that I wanted to create a kind-of Steve Pavlina website (but without the polyamory)?? Well, I’ve finally started working on it! By the end of the Summer, it will be up and running.

If I don’t post again this year, can I take this opportunity to wish everyone a wonderful holiday season, filled with love and laughter...? Life is good. No, life is great!! Choose to enjoy it, Yes, every darn minute of it!!

One bedroom, six people, and six suitcases! Of course it was infuriating and inconvenient at times, but it was also cosy and comforting to be close to each other at night-time...

The village school my son attended. There were about 200 children, including high school students. Every week the students clean the school, tidy the yard, sweep floors and run odd jobs for the teachers.

 My son getting ready to perform a traditional war dance with his classmates. 

Infected mosquito bites on my legs. We all got them, except our baby daughter. After a few months, we seemed to acclimatize and didn't get them anymore. 

Paradise!!! Away from the towns is lush, unspoilt bush, abundant with tropical fruits, coconuts and root crops