I Haven't Watched The News, Or Read a Newspaper, In Over 3 Years

Recently, a friend posted this cartoon on my facebook page...

It made me chuckle, but I was also reminded how much my life has changed the past three years, since I decided to tune out from mainstream media. 

Yes I, who once prided myself on being up-to-date with current affairs, have not watched the news, read a newspaper, or visited a news site in more than 3 years. 

When I made the decision to switch off, I was highly stressed, anxious about the future, drowning in debt, and felt helpless about what was happening in the world. That first week, I had to continually stop myself from turning on the TV out of sheer habit. It was a surreal feeling - almost a fear of not knowing or of being left out.

Maybe the world was crashing to a halt, and I was the only one who didn't know, and couldn't prepare for it?

But the world kept right on turning and, after that first week, I simply found other things to do.

More productive things, I might add! 

The fear of “not knowing” and being “left out” gradually subsided as I found myself not missing out on anything that actually made a speck of difference to my life. Instead of focusing on what was wrong and what I didn't want, I began to turn my attention to what I could do - creating the kind of life and future I wanted for my children. This saw me leave the city, get out of debt, move to a tropical island, start a business, write a book...

That transformation was the result of many changes I made in my life - cultivating selective ignorance was just one of them. But there are several benefits which can be traced directly to my decision to "tune out", and which had many flow-on effects in my life.

1. I've become much more sensitive and aware. 

I’d always thought of myself as a sensitive, intuitive kind of person, but I had no idea that watching and reading the news was desensitizing me so much.

Now, when I glimpse the sensationalist headlines of a newspaper, about terrorism or warfare or religious tensions, I feel myself start to become tense and on edge. It’s not outwardly evident, but I feel the subtle change of energy within me.

I never realized the negative, energy-sapping news stories were affecting me like that, until I spent time away from it, and now I can see it all too clearly.

Recently, my dad left his newspaper on the kitchen bench and my curiosity got the better of me. I didn’t even finish the first paragraph on the first page, before I walked away in disgust. It was all about war and bombs and military. It took me several hours of re-focusing my attention before I managed to shake off the feeling of un-ease.

I can’t believe I subjected myself to those negative vibes for so long, thinking I was staying “informed”, when really I was staying fearful and passive and helpless. But not any more!

      2. I've made better use of my time. 

      Over the last three-and-a-bit years, more than 1000 hours of my precious life have been spent on worthwhile activities, rather than sitting back helplessly, while being bombarded with "proof" of what a horrible world we live in.

Those extra 1000 hours were spent cooking nutritious meals for my family, playing with my children, cleaning my house, writing an e-book and building this website.

3. I’ve become more positive and confident. 

Rather than being constantly reminded of everything supposedly wrong with the world, I can now choose to focus on the kind of world I want to see. The world I see is nothing like the one portrayed on the news. I see people helping each other, being good citizens, trying to be decent partners/parents/employees. 

In the latter years of her life, my grandmother became very pessimistic and fearful about going out on her own. She stayed at home, reading the Daily Telegraph, which just confirmed her suspicions that robbers and murderers were lurking around every corner, just waiting to rip off a little old granny and leave her for dead.

I found myself falling into the same trap...

I used to worry about the future, and how would I protect my children amongst all this terrorism, and economic upheaval, and rising costs of living? Basically, I felt helpless. Strangely enough, the more anxious I became, the more I had to watch the news, in case there was some matter of utmost importance I had to know about (there never was. Just more of the same fear-mongering and pessimism.) 

Now, I don’t lose sleep over any of those things. Instead, I focus on what I CAN control, which is not “out there”, but “in here”. 

Rather than fearing the future, I am hopeful and optimistic and know that I am well-equipped to handle whatever challenges lie ahead.

  

       4. I’m more up-to-date on useful information.

      I may not know the name of the latest axe-murderer, or which celebrity is cheating who, or who got sent out for being a naughty boy during question-time in parliament (does anyone even care?), but I am one step ahead of the media on useful information.  

For example, a couple of years ago, I read an article on Steve Pavlina’s blog about the health benefits of having a “standing” work-desk, rather than sitting at your desk all day.

Last week, as I was walking into work, I happened to glance up at the current affair show on TV. It was about how sitting at a desk all day is causing so many health issues, it will eventually burden the healthcare system more than smoking, and a stand-up desk is one simple, but effective, solution.

I laughed.

It was old news to me…

5. I'm more creative and able to think "outside the square".

Without meaning to sound like a conspiracy theorist, the mainstream news outlets really do portray a very limiting, conventional view of the world (which may or may not be influenced by whence their advertising dollars come from...)

Once I managed to extract myself from that limiting, narrow paradigm, I found that my mind became highly creative and original. Rather than getting my information from mainstream media, I gathered information by talking to people, reading books and blogs, experiencing the world with my own senses, and not through the skewed lens of the media. This had the effect of opening up my mind to all kinds of possibilities and opportunities, and led me to achieve things I might never have attempted in the past.

All in all, my news fast has been a wise decision, with many positive benefits.

If anything really important is happening, someone will tell me about it, or post about it on facebook. I don't feel that I'm missing out in any way.

So here’s to many more years of remaining blissfully ignorant of the headlines and hype.

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How To Be A Woman: 5 Ways To Nurture & Celebrate Our Femininity

How To Be A Woman: 5 Ways To Nurture & Celebrate Our Femininity

I was 30 years old, and a mother of 3, before I began to question what it meant to be a woman. Up until that point, I had referred to myself as a “girl”. 

I vowed I would always be a girl at heart.

The truth is, while-ever I was a “girl”, I could expect less of myself. It was my way of staying small and unnoticeable, my way of denying that I was more powerful than first thought, because that was too...confronting, too challenging. That realization would require too much of me.

But as I began to make tentative steps to embrace womanhood, I began to see and understand things that I had never really thought about before. 

Namely, the current imbalance between the feminine and masculine energies in our world, and what this means, not just for ourselves but for all humanity.

We live in a society that organizes and governs itself according to masculine concepts of competition, hierarchy, status, logic and rank.

Masculine energy is practical, focused, determined, proactive, goal-oriented. The female energy is spiritual, fluid, adaptable, accepting, process-oriented.

The masculine energy aims and achieves, while the feminine energy attracts and receives

The masculine energy thrives on competition, while the feminine energy thrives on co-operation. We don’t need to look very far to see the competitive masculine energy at work – our education system grades and ranks students (competition), governments are elected via a poll (competition) while experts remind us that “competition is good for the economy.”

The masculine energy “hunts” – goes after or pursues what it wants – while the feminine energy “gathers” – attracts or manifests what it wants.

For the male energy, the outcome is important, but to the feminine, the journey is what matters. During times of crisis or challenge, the masculine tendency is to “fix things”, while the feminine energy seeks to “understand things”.

Both energies are equally important and necessary – one to envision and understand, the other to implement. Neither is better or worse. They are just different. They are two halves of the whole.

In an ideal world, the two energies would balance and complement each other. Like the yin and the yang. In harmony, they allow us to experience life in it’s richest, fullest expression.

Each one of us – no matter what our physical sex is – harbors these energies, yet for many of us, the feminine is suppressed in order to survive in a society that organizes itself according to masculine concepts and priorities. The feminine principles of nurturing and co-operation simply get pushed into the background and ignored.

One (unintended, I believe) result of the feminist movement was the further imbalance of the two energies – rather than encouraging both sexes to honor the feminine and creating a society that embraced all parts of ourselves, it simply gave women permission to compete and achieve (be more masculine.)

As a society, we pursue (masculine way of doing things, again!) a politically-correct version of “equality”, which has nothing to do with balance, and everything to do with trying to conform women into roles and positions and policies which are entirely foreign and unnatural to our feminine spirit. A band-aid solution, at best...

It is time for us to embrace our femininity in an authentic and loving way. This is not about getting a Brazilian wax, and fluttering my eyelashes at the opposite sex, in order to get what I want, but rather embracing all that I am – a whole, other, neglected part of myself.

I’m talking about finding a balance – between achievement and process, between planning for the future and enjoying this moment, between aiming for what could be and accepting what is, between pursuing what I want and simply allowing what I need...

Trying to embrace my own femininity has been a learning experience. Ironically, it has made me stronger yet more humble, focused but more adaptable. I have come to believe there are some core aspects that are unique to being a woman, in tune with our feminine energy. 

These are gifts that we can offer ourselves and others, and the world with love...

Surrender

The masculine energy is all about persistence. The female energy surrenders. I am not talking about allowing ourselves to be abused or mistreated - I am talking about surrendering to life itself, to the experience, to the moment, to God...

On the rare occasions I have surrendered 100%, letting go of all my own wants and plans and expectations, I have experienced the most wonderful state of bliss. (I wrote about it here: 5 Things I Learnt in Heaven.)

We have been conditioned to think that surrender is a sign of weakness. I believe the very opposite is true. Surrender – giving up the need to be in control – takes incredible courage. Sometimes it is the hardest thing in the world! It is an act of the deepest faith. 

We may reach this point only after we have thoroughly exhausted ourselves by trying to keep all the balls in the air, organize everyone and oversee every aspect of our life. It can be a surprising discovery that the world doesn't actually fall apart if we step back and simply allow some things to "be", rather than trying to force our own will all the time. 

Even consider for a moment the female sexual organs, they are the epitome of surrender - dark and soft and yielding. “Soft” and “yielding” does not imply weakness, in fact, it is these same qualities that enable the birth canal to expand and unfold, and safely deliver a new life into the world.

The feminine energy knows that there are mysterious, unseen, powerful forces at work in the universe. The feminine energy is open and intuitive to these, and willing to be guided by these forces that others might call “fate” or even “coincidence”.

Faith

This is a quiet assurance of our ability to manifest the very experience and result that we need. (Not always what we want, mind you!! But always what we need...). And when that experience comes our way, we will not only meet it, we will rise up to embrace the challenge.

This is a deep inner knowing that WE WILL BE OKAY - whether in a relationship or alone, with children or without, with a career or without...we already possess everything we need to flourish and grow.

Marianne Williamson once wrote: “Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us.” That quote is so often attributed to Nelson Mandela, but it came from the heart of a woman...

Love Fully

Only in the past 2 years, I started to become aware that I withhold love from others, for fear of being taken advantage of.

The truth is, it’s not that I'm afraid of being taken advantage of per se, I was afraid that if I did get taken advantage of, I wouldn't have the confidence to speak up and deal with it assertively. It really stemmed from a lack of faith in myself – to set boundaries, to say no, to speak up when it was awkward or uncomfortable.

To love fully is an act of courage. It puts us in a position of vulnerability – which is why it takes a strong person to go there. We are stating that we will give of ourselves, regardless of the eventual outcome.

Mass media bombards us with songs like we “can’t live without him” and “I’ll be your slave”. This diminishes our true power. We will be just fine “without him”, and deep down, we know that.

Acknowledging this allows us to love deeply and fearlessly, to give ourselves completely to the joy of this moment, this embrace, this connection... and not be distracted by what may, or may not, be tomorrow.

Honor Our Role As Mothers and Nurturers.

Our bodies bring forth new life.

The feminine energy tends toward caring and nurturing and making a home, whether we have actually birthed a baby or not. We listen to our friends problems and console and sympathize, we delight in decorating or arranging our own homes.

Despite the natural desire to nurture others, this can sometimes deplete our energies to such an extent that we find ourselves unable to nurture ourselves.

I believe it is vital that we nurture ourselves , for two reasons. One being that giving and giving (without putting back in) eventually results in depletion. At this point, we are empty, and resentment is bound to set in.

The other reason is that being happy and fulfilled (filled full) is possibly the most loving gift we can give to our children, our family, and our selves.When we are exhausted and running on empty, we have nothing to give others - we simply can't give away what we don't have.

Nurturing ourselves also includes nourishing our body with pure, living foods, nourishing our spirit by doing what we love, that which lights us up, and nourishing our mind by choosing energizing and uplifting thoughts.

It's okay to ask for help. The feminine spirit thrives on co-operation, not on some misguided competition to see who can be the strongest and most stoic and "go it alone".  By the same token, it's time to stop viewing other females as "competition" and instead support and co-operate with each other as sisters.

Self-aware

For too long, we have been lulled into believing that others know best for us. There is nothing more dis-empowering, than the belief that we cannot trust ourselves!

So many people believe that a doctor knows their body better than they do. Just because someone has studied the textbooks and knows the scientific names for the anatomy and physiology of the human body...does not make him more of an expert than the person who has actually inhabited that body since before birth! No certificate or textbook or qualification knows your body more intimately than you know your body.

For several decades now, we’ve listened while experts argued and changed their minds over how we should discipline our children, whether eggs are good or bad, whether margarine is healthier than butter, whether women can “have it all”...and on and on it goes. Instead of empowering us, the barrage of information has just confused us, and made us more reliant on the supposed expertise of others.

(What does it take to be an “expert” anyway?! Is there a special course? Must one reach a certain level of qualification or experience? Or if they talk about a subject long enough and eloquently enough, others will inevitably bestow them the title of expert?)

Deep down, we know what is right. We’ve always known! But we tend to get confused by all the conflicting information and voices, and we begin have doubts that we may not actually know what’s best for us! Every question can be answered in the body - just visit a trained kinesiologist if you have any doubts. Kinesiologists are not trained to know what's "best" for your body, they're simply trained to "hear" what your own body is saying. 

Our bodies are always talking to us...if only we cared to listen, or seek to understand. Our body constantly gives us feedback about what we ate, whether we're getting enough sleep or nutrients, whether we're happy and fulfilled. When we don't listen, the symptoms become more pronounced until finally, illness or disease manifests. Sometimes sickness is the only way our body can make itself heard...

Listening to our intuition, our “gut feeling”, our inner voice is like any habit – it gets easier with practice.

Sometimes I imagine what our world might look like, if the masculine and feminine energies were both honored, both respected and both utilized – neither one dominating or “in control”, but both complementing the other and working together for the benefit of all.

Would there be domestic violence? Would there be wars? As the bringers of new life into the world, I believe we are intensely aware of the fragility and the preciousness of life. 

We women have so much to offer the world - not by contorting ourselves into unnatural (and unfulfilled) versions of whatever the status quo demands - but by giving ourselves permission to embrace and nurture our forgotten, feminine self. Nobody else is going to give us permission!

Every woman who does this makes it a little easier, a little more acceptable, for their fellow women to do the same...

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The Secret Of Real Financial Freedom

I know "financial freedom" is one of the latest buzzwords. People are working on building income streams and businesses on the side.

Don’t get me wrong, I think that's great! I believe in being proactive. I believe in working towards the life you want!

   

But I think freedom is a state of mind, and not the state of our bank account.

If our freedom is dependent upon having “enough” money/income (whatever that mysterious figure might be), then we are not free at all. In fact, we are the opposite of free. We are enslaved.

I contend that true financial freedom is knowing that you’ll be just fine, whether you have a lot of money or a little money. Because you already know that you have the drive, the creativity, the confidence to create opportunities, no matter what you’re circumstances are, or what the economy/your employer/the government does.

Too many people spend their lives in unfulfilling, soul-destroying jobs, so they can have money, so they can have options. Why not use your beautiful mind and create options now...and save yourself all that drudgery?

Let go of the limiting mindset that we must have money in order to have “freedom”, or options, or to live the life we want. Money doesn’t create options, YOU create options!! The truth is that most people don't really want more money, they want the lifestyle they assume can only be bought with money...

My husband and I wanted to be out of debt and have lots of time to spend with our children. We tried working harder, longer hours, saving more...all the usual things. But we seemed to be constantly going around in circles, never really getting anywhere. Because we assumed that the only way to be out of debt and spend lots of time with our children was to have more money. 

Then we started to think outside the box. We sold our house (sure that was a hard decision, but life is more important than a house), sold most of our stuff and moved overseas, where we live with extended family while we wait to build our own house. We have very little money...but we also have no debt and lots of time to spend with our children. 

Let’s say you want to travel, but you don’t have much money. Is the dream out of reach? Is it impossible? Of course not! You could:

House-swap 

Work overseas

House-sit

Exchange Program

Boat-sit

Back-pack

Couch-surf

Start a crowd-funding campaign 

Find a host family and stay with them, then return the favor when they come to visit you

Be a travel companion for someone who might be unable to travel alone

Freelance write or teach English
Get a job on a cruise-ship

Do something bold, like approaching a company and telling them you’ll proudly fly their company flag while standing on Mount Everest/Running with the Bulls/whatever adventure you’ve got planned...as long as they pay for your ticket. Who knows, the worst they can do is say no, right?! (People and businesses can be surprisingly agreeable, if there’s something in it for them.)

The options are limited only by your imagination. 

There are people who travel the world full-time, yet they are not wealthy!! They swap, negotiate, work their way around the world, and they do it far cheaper than it costs to live in any of the major cities of the world...

To think that you MUST have money in order to have options is slave thinking.  Free minds know that there are options everywhere. What’s more, free minds create them!!

There was a Canadian guy called Kyle MacDonald. A few years ago, he was unemployed and broke, but he wanted to buy a house. Conventional thinking says it would be “impossible”. (Conventional thinking also keeps most of us in 9-5 jobs that slowly snuff out our inner fire, and then we retire and then we die. Who wants conventional thinking?)

On his desk was a red paper clip. It gave him an idea. He went on Craigslist, and asked to swap. He found someone who wanted the red paperclip, and swapped it for a fish-shaped pen. Then he swapped that pen for a door-knob.  And so on, and so on, until he was swapping a jetski and a motorbike, and eventually...a house. Read his fascinating blog here.

The moral of the story is: there are opportunities everywhere. Most people don’t see them, because they have never been taught to see them. (The other lesson is that we usually have something that somebody else wants, and vice versa....so learn to barter!)

It’s a ridiculous notion when you think about it. We collect some little pieces of paper in our wallet, and suddenly we have options? No, friend, we always had options!

You know the saying: “Many people spend their health trying to gain wealth, and then have to spend their wealth trying to re-gain their health?" You don’t need to spend the best years of your life and health in order to have financial freedom. You can have financial freedom today, if you just realize this...

True financial freedom is being free of the fear that you might not have “enough”. True financial freedom is being free of the limiting belief that you must have money to live the kind of life you dream of. (You don't.)

True financial freedom is knowing you have the intelligence, the creativity, the willpower to create options beyond the sphere of money. No global financial crisis, no economic downturn, no job redundancy can take those things from you!! Now isn’t that real freedom?

Everything you need for an awesome life is already inside you. What a relief! Isn’t that real freedom? It can’t be stolen, embezzled, lost, eroded by inflation, or poorly invested. 

Now isn’t that real freedom?

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How to Turn Your Big, Crazy Idea Into Reality (Part 1)

So, you dreamed up this big, crazy idea that makes your heart beat a little faster with the thrill of it, and now you're wondering how you go about making it a reality?

Having pulled off a couple of big, crazy ideas of my own, I got to thinking and realized there's a process I go through, and I'm going to share it with you.

This promised to be such an epic blog post, that I've decided to make it a series. Part One is what I like to call "The Magic of Commitment".

 

Let's assume you've thought over your idea, and you’ve ascertained that it is:

1. Do-able (somehow!) You don’t need to know how exactly you’re going to do it. You can figure that out later. The moment you believe a thing is possible, your mind starts figuring out HOW to make it possible.  

I try not to ask for advice from too many people at this point, because most people simply won’t be able to see your vision like you do. Too many people think they’re being a good friend by pointing out the negatives and the risks and all the things that “might” go wrong.

For example, most people would be pretty skeptical if you came at them with the following ideas...and yet they’ve all been achieved by others.

Travel to every country on earth on $100 per week.

Turn $100 into a six-figure business.

Go to a foreign country and start an orphanage.

Pay off $70,000 debt in less than a year, and quit your job.

Sail solo around the world while still in your teens. 
Live without money.

Of course that's just a tiny miniscule sample of what's possible. You're only limited by what YOU believe is possible. The sky is not the limit, the mind is...

Don't get me wrong, I’m open to advice or feedback from the right people (by "right people" I mean positive, pro-active people who have turned their own big, crazy ideas into reality), but at the end of the day, I tend to go with my gut-feeling. Something deep inside that whispers "You can do this".

B.) Desirable. The desire to have it/do it must outweigh the effort/energy needed to make it reality. It also has to outweigh the fear of doing it, else procrastination will be the order of the day…

C.)  Last, but not least, does it align with your life purpose? This is intensely personal - only you can decide if turning this idea into reality will move you closer to the vision you have for your life..or simply distract you from your path.

    Sometimes the answer will be clear, and other times, not so much. When the answer is not clear, I rely on my good old instincts again. Does it "feel right"? Despite being a (supposedly!) logical, grounded Capricorn, all of my big life decisions were made "from the heart". I didn't sit down and write out the pros and cons of each decision, I didn't consult with experts. I simply did what felt right.

I realize this may run counter to how many people operate. Learning how to listen to our gut instincts is not something taught, or valued, by the traditional education system. But it can be developed, and the more you do it, the easier it becomes. (It just occurred to me that writing about how to develop intuition is an awesome idea for a new series of blog posts. Keep your eyes peeled!)

     I read somewhere that a great way to make a decision is to toss a coin, and in that moment when the coin is in the air, you'll suddenly realize which answer you're hoping for. I love this, and think it's a fun way to illustrate that you already have the answers to all of life's questions within you.

If you've ascertained the answer is "yes" to both A, B and C, then what?

It’s time to make a choice. You’re either going to go for it, or you’re not.

It’s not a “Maybe” or “We’ll see how it pans out” or a “One day I might…”kind of choice. Oh no! Big, crazy ideas call for more than wishing on stars and crossing fingers. Great big, crazy ideas require a definite 100% commitment.

Until we commit ourselves, we’re just dabbling half-heartedly – we’re almost screaming to the Universe that we expect to fail, and we reserve the right to back out the moment the going gets tough…

Don’t make the mistake of waiting until you have all the answers before committing to your idea. Nobody ever has all the answers. There would be no new businesses or inventions or relationships or anything…if everyone waited for all the answers before committing themselves. 

It's not how much you know at the start that matters, it's how much you learn and apply as you go along.

If we only ever commit to goals that we already know how to do, we limit ourselves to little goals. Big, crazy goals require us to learn more and become better than we currently are…and therein lies the beauty!

There is some confusion over who actually said the following quote, although it's generally attributed to Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe. It may actually be a mash-up of several quotes, but it is so relevant here, I just have to share:

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”

Parts 2, 3 and 4 are now up on the blog:
Turn Your Big Crazy Idea Into Reality (Part 2): Putting It Out There
Turn Your Big Crazy Idea Into Reality (Part 3): Just Start Somewhere 
Turn Your Big Crazy Idea Into Reality (Part 4): Then Keep Going

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How To Learn a New Language in Less Than 6 Months

Have you heard the old concept that children can pick up other languages much quicker than adults? It seems to be true…but have you ever wondered why?

My eldest son was 6 years old when we came to Tonga. He knew three Tongan words: kai (eat), lotu (pray) and ha’u (come here). A week later, we sent him off to the local village school, where all lessons are taught in Tongan. He was really thrown in at the deep end, and I had some serious misgivings.

I don’t doubt that he struggled in the beginning, but within a month he was semi-fluent (enough to understand, and be understood by others) and by the end of that semester (5 months later) he was fully fluent, and ranked third in class, where all the other children were native speakers.

One day, I was listening to my children playing outside and I suddenly had an epiphany as to why my children had picked up the language so quickly. There are five reasons for this, and when you understand them, any adult can use the same principles to be speaking a new language in less than 6 months.

But first..

6 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD LEARN ANOTHER LANGUAGE:

• People will be delighted that you’ve made the effort to communicate with them in their own language. It’s kind of arrogant to assume that others will bend over backwards to speak YOUR language every time you wish to communicate, especially if you are the visitor in their country.
• You’ll better understand the culture, since language and culture are so intricately connected. 
• Learning a second language improves memory, creativity, concentration levels and helps prevent dementia. 
• Being able to speak a second language literally allows you to “see” the world from a different perspective. 
•  The confidence you gain from mastering another language is priceless.
•  The ability to speak another language opens up opportunities for friendships, relationships and job/business advancement that might have otherwise been overlooked.

Now, how to go about learning a language as quickly and efficiently as any kid? Let’s take a look at the reasons why kids are such efficient little learners.

#1 Kids talk to other kids! As adults we are at somewhat of a disadvantage when starting out with a new language. Generally, we find ourselves amongst other adults and listening to adult conversations, which may be anything from politics to religion to local gossip or current affairs. If you’re new to the language, the vast majority of the conversation will go right over your head. 

Contrast this with kids, however. Their conversations are simple and generally use a lot of repetition. They’re usually playing at the same time, so their conversation will be more like: “Throw me the ball” and “Stand here” or “It’s my turn” or “Give it to me”, usually repeated several times over the course of the conversation. 

So, the next time you are in a situation where people are speaking another language, seek out the children and join in their activities. Guaranteed within half an hour, you’ll have some simple phrases under your belt, which can be used in everyday life.

How To Use This To Your Advantage: Hang out with kids more. Listen and repeat. Kids are awesome teachers.

#2 Kids are not burdened by the expectation that learning a new language is “difficult” and will take a long time. 

When we have beliefs and preconceived ideas (whether they’re correct, or not), we then look for evidence to “prove” that they’re correct. In this sense, we become our own worst enemies when the “proof” we’re seeking is that we are terrible at learning something new, we just make mistake after mistake, it's going to take years before we're any good at this…

As “A Course in Miracles” states: “Once you form a belief, you attach all your senses and all your life to it’s survival”. 

Kids are not held back by any of these notions. They just get in there and start repeating what they hear. It’s quite simple, really.

How to Use This To Your Advantage: Believe that you can, and will, speak fluently in another language within 6 months. Look for evidence that it is not only possible, but entirely do-able, and you’ll start finding it everywhere.

#3. Kids are courageous. Generally speaking, kids are not as self-conscious as we adults, and less concerned about making a fool of themselves. For example: I was listening to my (then 3 year old) son playing with his cousin. They were using the kind of simple phrases I mentioned earlier. As I listened carefully, I realized my son knew some of the words but not enough to actually string them together into a sentence. But that didn’t stop him from trying!

I had an epiphany then, because I realized if it were me, I would simply revert to English, or stay quiet. How many learning opportunities I must have missed, for fear of looking like an idiot! I decided then to learn from my children, and quit worrying about correct grammar and whether my sentence was perfect, and practice what I knew, anyway. I’ve improved in leaps and bounds ever since.

Yes, you may meet the occasional doofus who will remind you for the next five years that you once pronounced “hide” so it sounded like “masturbate” (Every Tongan will know what I’m talking about here…) Yes, you’ll occasionally say things you didn’t intend to say. Yes, you may tell everyone that you are going to cut down the undergrowth, while actually saying that you are going to cut the pubic hair. (True story!) 

Despite these unfortunate (but often hilarious) mishaps, the vast majority of people will love that you are making the effort, their respect for you grows, and they’ll help you out when they see you struggling to pronounce a word or put a sentence together using strange hand gestures. It goes without saying that a sense of humor comes in handy, when learning a new language…

It also helps to remember that if we always hide our struggles or “weaknesses”, we deny others the opportunity to help us and show us how much they care and support us. 

How To Use This To Your Advantage: Make learning the language a priority. If you become the butt of a few jokes along the way, then so be it. Also, it’s okay to not be perfect, to not be an expert. When you humble yourself to be a learner, you’ll find teachers everywhere, ready and willing to help you out.

#4 Kids are naturally curious about everything. We learn and retain information that is relevant to us. For a kid, that means a lot, because they’re fascinated by everything! They want to know why the sky is blue, why people get married, who made the fish in the ocean, how come ants can walk upside-down and how long is a piece of string!

Because we’re constantly bombarded by information, our brain filters out that which is not deemed useful or relevant. When you’re a child, trying to figure out how the world works, it is a matter of great importance to figure out this kind of stuff, so you can develop some sense of security and safety within it. You tend to learn pretty quickly, if your brain deems it necessary for your survival.

How To Use This To Your Advantage: Be curious! Ask too many questions. A sense of curiosity and wonder opens the mind, so that learning is inevitable. It also makes learning fun.

#5 Kids practice, even when they don't "have to". One thing I noticed was that, if given the choice (such as talking with someone who was also fluent in English), I would immediately revert back to English. Almost all of my conversations with my husband happened in English, because it was easier, and it was what I was comfortable with.

Unfortunately, real growth happens when we step outside our comfort zones!

My kids, on the other hand, when confronted with someone who was also fluent in English, would still speak in Tongan, or perhaps a mix of English and Tongan. This practicing whenever possible not only helps to reinforce language associations and improve pronunciation, but it helps to develop facial muscles which may be under-used in our own language.

How To Use This To Your Advantage: Practice whenever possible, even if "easier" and more comfortable options are available to you.

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Creative Genius: What to Do When You Have Too Many Ideas

ESV4EDNP8KEK (Ignore that. It's my Technorati verification code.)

Last week I wrote about ways to become more creative and generate new ideas. That used to be my problem. But then I figured out how to overcome it, and was soon met by the very opposite problem - too many ideas!

This creates a few challenges, the three major ones being:

• Unable to focus on one goal or one idea properly, and give it my full attention
• Distracted by a new idea, before properly executing the last good idea. This leads to unfinished projects.
• Feeling overwhelmed and paralyzed by choices. (Which idea is better? Which option should I choose?)

Fortunately, over the past couple of years, I've also learned how to overcome these new challenges.

The ability to generate lots of ideas is actually not a "problem", unless I think it is. After all, having an abundance of ideas is a blessing that many people wish they had. I need to be grateful for that.

However, like all blessings, it can quickly turn into a curse if not managed properly.

Through trial and error, I’ve developed a two-step process that works for me. It’s quick and easy, and allows me to ascertain which ideas have potential and should be followed up. It also frees up mental energy to focus on turning that idea into reality.

1. Write It Down

Experience has taught me that trying to hold forty-eight different ideas in my head will turn me into a tired and distracted wreck, as I try desperately to remember them all.

As soon as possible, I get ideas out of my head and onto paper or computer. Personally, I like the immediacy of a notebook and pen for writing down ideas. I keep my “Ideas Notebook” on the desk, and often read back over ideas I wrote down months earlier. This in itself, is often enough to spark a new idea, or at least a new-and-improved version of a previous idea.

Despite the fact that I keep an “Ideas Book” on my desk, ideas rarely come to me while I’m actually sitting at the desk. They come to me when I’m about to fall asleep at night, while I’m preparing the dinner, or on my morning walk or any number of random occasions.

I used to keep my book on the bedside table, but with young children in the family, my book soon got decorated with random scribbles, and pages stuck together with residue from sticky little fingers. On more than one occasion it went missing, and was subsequently discovered down the side of the bed.

Not surprisingly, that particular idea had to be scrapped!

Now it is kept on the desk, beside the computer. I also write my weekly to-do lists in the same book, along with my goals for the year, and any inspiring quotes I want to remember. While I wait for my lap-top to start up, I often flick through this book, and jog my memory of what I want to achieve and the vision I have for my life.

      2. Analyze

Once I have my ideas safely ensconced in writing, I can then appraise and compare them. I run through the idea in my mind’s eye, from start to completion. What steps would I be required to take? What challenges may be encountered? What is a realistic time-frame and budget for realizing this idea? How would it fit in with my current plans and activities? What are the potential benefits, and are they worth the effort required to put this idea into action?

Sometimes, if it’s a “big” idea, such as an idea for a new business, the above process is “mind-mapped” on paper so that I can better see the idea taking shape in front of me.

Once I’ve answered these questions, it then becomes possible to sort the ideas into:

1.  Do-able and desirable (This idea is worth pursuing some more, or making preliminary enquiries. After preliminary enquiries-internet search etc, depending on what the idea is-I may then decide it's still do-able and desirable, or may relegate it to another category).
2. Do-able and desirable, but not right now (I need to finish something else, first.)
3. Do-able but not desirable enough. (After running through the process in my head–and sometimes just “sitting” with the idea for a few days-I realize that I don’t want it badly enough to expend the time and effort required to make it reality.)
4.  Desirable, but not do-able (Sometimes, the thought of something is nice, but the reality is that it simply won’t work with my current commitments or priorities. Or it is do-able, but only if I’m willing to sacrifice my sanity or something else that is important to me.)

Some ideas that seem “dumb” or impossible at first glance may become work-able in the future when circumstances or goals change. For this reason, I don’t delete or erase any ideas. Some ideas are right…just not right now.

This is a fairly informal process. I don’t go creating complicated spreadsheets or anything. I simply make notes beside each idea, on what I’ve decided to do about it.

I now follow this process for all my ideas - from how to save money on our grocery budget, to writing a new blog post, to starting a new business.

I believe that being able to generate lots of ideas is, indeed, a gift – but it should be managed in a way that actually enhances my life, and the lives of those around me, not enslaves me to an endless cycle of pursuing random ideas in different directions.

Despite my obvious brilliance, (insert wry smile) not every idea that floats into my stream of consciousness is worth pursuing. A little bit of time spent assessing an idea now, can save a lot of time and money later.