The 10 Most Mind-Blowing Books I've Read

Anybody who knows me, knows that I adore reading books! My mentor loves to remind us that readers are leaders, and I reckon she's right. 

After much deliberation I've whittled my list of mind-blowing books down to just ten. These books completely changed my worldview, or inspired me to transform my life and health.

If you click on the title of the book, it will take you to The Book Depository - my favorite online bookstore. They have millions of titles (including ones that are hard to find in conventional bookstores) and free shipping to most countries in the world (but not Tonga, sadly. I save up my orders for when I'm in Australia). These links are affiliate links, so if you do make a purchase, I receive a small percentage.

1. E-Squared by Pam Grout

I bought this book less than a year ago, and I've already read it five times!

It is fascinating, entertaining and profound, all at once, and the "experiments" have the potential to change your life.

2. The Beauty Detox Solution by Kimberly Snyder

It doesn't matter if you're a health nut or a complete newbie, this book has it all. It explains how our bodies work, and how to look after them so we can look and feel awesome.

If you only ever read one book on health, let it be this one.

3. The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz

This book is decades old, but it's wisdom is timeless. It teaches you how to harness the power of the mind to create the life you want.

It's brilliant, and I re-read it at least once per year, hence why my copy is tattered and missing it's covers.

4.  Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach

Have you ever stumbled across a little old book that looked kind of plain, but when you began to read, it completely blew your mind? This little book was like that for a me.

 It is written as a non-fiction story, but the message is so profound I had to keep putting it down, so I could digest the meaning and let it sink in.

5. The 4-Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferriss 

More than anything, I love a book that challenges the current paradigm and looks at the world from a different angle to the one we're used to being shown.

 This book is all that! I love it most, not for the business insights and resources (which are great on their own) but the reminder of what is possible.

6. The E-Myth Revisited by Michael Gerber

If you are in business, or thinking about going into business, you need to read this book. Seriously. I say this from hard-won experience. This book provides the template for building a sustainable business and teaches you how to work ON your business, instead of IN it.

Buying this book will probably turn out to be the best investment you ever make in your business. Have I mentioned that you need to read this book?

 

7. The Hidden Messages in Water by Masaru Emoto

I've been delving into quantum physics and metaphysics for a while, but this book was mind-blowing, especially some of the author's theories on the Universe and energy fields.

This book also contains stunning photographs of how our words and thoughts affect water molecules (and in turn affect us, and the wider world).

8. Spirits in Spacesuits: A Manual for Everyday Mystics by Sean O'Laoire

Ok, I confess. I borrowed this book from a friend more than six months ago, and I still haven't given it back. He's overseas, so that's my excuse for treasuring this book as long as I possibly can.

This revolutionary book really opened up my mind to a different perspective of God, life, the Universe, the Bible.

9. Don't Get Mad, Get Wise by Mike George 

One day, I was in a bookshop and I only had enough money to buy one book. This was the one I chose. It turned out to be perfectly suited to the situation I was dealing with at the time.

This book teaches us how we can choose to be at peace, no matter what is happening around us or to us. I still use these principles in my everyday life.

10. Not On The Label: What Really Goes Into The Food You Eat by Felicity Lawrence

I've read many books exposing the food and drug industry, but years later, this one still stands out as the one that shocked me so much, it forever changed the way I buy food.

This one is based on the UK food system (although most of it applies to the entire Western world). For an expose on the US food system, try reading Fast Food Nation. 

What books have really blown your mind or changed the way you see the world (or yourself, for that matter?) Let me know in the comments, because I would love to have a read. If they're mind-blowing enough, I may even be obliged to re-arrange my list...

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Perfect Paradox: Finding "Balance" in Life

Several years ago, I began to question what the real meaning of wisdom was. I knew it had to be more than an IQ score, or the ability to remember facts and figures. It had to be more than simply being able to make good decisions. 

Gradually, I came to realize that wisdom is about recognizing balance. You see, in this life, there is a very fine line between what benefits us and what depletes us. What adds and what takes away. What builds up and what destroys. What brings us closer to our goals and aspirations, and what leads us further away. And just to complicate matters, the fine line is constantly shifting as we evolve and move through each experience.

I’ve come to see that true wisdom is recognizing balance (and just as importantly, recognizing the lack thereof).

And then I came to one of the glorious paradoxes of life. In order to enjoy, or even recognize “balance”, we must experience imbalance. Regularly! We are constantly slipping out of balance and when we become aware that it doesn’t feel so good, we make an effort to move back into balance or alignment.

Here’s just two examples from my own life:

1.) During my adulthood, I have been both a food-lover, who didn’t care at all about calories or ingredients. I loved and enjoyed food and indulged wherever and whenever I felt like it. Cheesecake was my favorite food. 

I’ve also been a health nut who read ingredient labels obsessively and avoided a long list of foods, including MSG, sugar, wheat, meat, yeast, aspartame, artificial colors or flavors. The thing is, both extremes suited me for a while, but eventually I became aware that they were holding me back – the indulgent me began to suffer all kinds of health symptoms and lack of energy, and the obsessive me began to feel stressed and restricted from the effort of maintaining such a diet in a culture where food is celebrated and shared as a sign of love and hospitality. 

I’m now somewhere in between, and still experimenting to find that harmonious balance that enhances my body and my life, rather than depletes them. 

2.) During my late teens, I was spontaneous and carefree and loved to party. During this stage, I made plenty of irresponsible decisions (some of which I had to pay heavily for). I didn’t think too much about the future because I was busy having fun today. Several years and life-lessons later, I swung to the opposite extreme. I worked three jobs, saved my money and set goals to own my own home and start a business. Eventually, both extremes caught up with me and my physical health suffered because of it.

I’m still experimenting and learning that perfect balance between aspiring for tomorrow and enjoying today.

The thing is, we cant enjoy or even recognize a sense of “rightness” until we’ve experienced what a sense of “wrongness” feels like. Every “negative” emotion or experience allows us to recognize and appreciate it’s opposite. 

If we avoid making mistakes or try to drown out all “negative” emotions, we are really depriving ourselves of the richness and depth of life. How can we possibly appreciate emotions of love or joy, if we’ve never fully experienced their opposite, or their lack, in our lives?

All of our imbalances, our “mistakes”, our “failures”, they all add to our understanding of what is right for us. They act as benchmarks as we seek to find balance, that wonderful sense of rightness and alignment that can only be realized by first experiencing how unpleasant if felt to be all out of whack. We learn by going too far to one extreme and discovering it didn’t feel so good, and perhaps swinging back to the opposite extreme and discovering (sooner or later) that doesn’t really work for us either. Through this learning process, we begin to discover where the happy medium lies. 

As we move through life, that happy medium changes with every circumstance and experience, and it changes as we evolve and grow. What felt good and right and balanced for me five years ago, may seem all wrong for me today. This is why finding balance is a lifelong effort. No sooner have we discovered it, the goalposts move and suddenly we are once again seeking that sense of balance.

This is not disheartening. This is one of the utterly glorious things about life. If it weren’t so, life would be stale and boring and flat. Instead, we get to experience the exhilaration of the highs and the desperation of the lows, and both give meaning to the other.

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How To Be A Woman: 5 Ways To Nurture & Celebrate Our Femininity

I was 30 years old, and a mother of 3, before I began to question what it meant to be a woman. Up until that point, I had referred to myself as a “girl”. 

I vowed I would always be a girl at heart.

The truth is, while-ever I was a “girl”, I could expect less of myself. It was my way of staying small and unnoticeable, my way of denying that I was more powerful than first thought, because that was too...confronting, too challenging. That realization would require too much of me.

But as I began to make tentative steps to embrace womanhood, I began to see and understand things that I had never really thought about before. 

Namely, the current imbalance between the feminine and masculine energies in our world, and what this means, not just for ourselves but for all humanity.

We live in a society that organizes and governs itself according to masculine concepts of competition, hierarchy, status, logic and rank.

Masculine energy is practical, focused, determined, proactive, goal-oriented. The female energy is spiritual, fluid, adaptable, accepting, process-oriented.

The masculine energy aims and achieves, while the feminine energy attracts and receives

The masculine energy thrives on competition, while the feminine energy thrives on co-operation. We don’t need to look very far to see the competitive masculine energy at work – our education system grades and ranks students (competition), governments are elected via a poll (competition) while experts remind us that “competition is good for the economy.”

The masculine energy “hunts” – goes after or pursues what it wants – while the feminine energy “gathers” – attracts or manifests what it wants.

For the male energy, the outcome is important, but to the feminine, the journey is what matters. During times of crisis or challenge, the masculine tendency is to “fix things”, while the feminine energy seeks to “understand things”.

Both energies are equally important and necessary – one to envision and understand, the other to implement. Neither is better or worse. They are just different. They are two halves of the whole.

In an ideal world, the two energies would balance and complement each other. Like the yin and the yang. In harmony, they allow us to experience life in it’s richest, fullest expression.

Each one of us – no matter what our physical sex is – harbors these energies, yet for many of us, the feminine is suppressed in order to survive in a society that organizes itself according to masculine concepts and priorities. The feminine principles of nurturing and co-operation simply get pushed into the background and ignored.

One (unintended, I believe) result of the feminist movement was the further imbalance of the two energies – rather than encouraging both sexes to honor the feminine and creating a society that embraced all parts of ourselves, it simply gave women permission to compete and achieve (be more masculine.)

As a society, we pursue (masculine way of doing things, again!) a politically-correct version of “equality”, which has nothing to do with balance, and everything to do with trying to conform women into roles and positions and policies which are entirely foreign and unnatural to our feminine spirit. A band-aid solution, at best...

It is time for us to embrace our femininity in an authentic and loving way. This is not about getting a Brazilian wax, and fluttering my eyelashes at the opposite sex, in order to get what I want, but rather embracing all that I am – a whole, other, neglected part of myself.

I’m talking about finding a balance – between achievement and process, between planning for the future and enjoying this moment, between aiming for what could be and accepting what is, between pursuing what I want and simply allowing what I need...

Trying to embrace my own femininity has been a learning experience. Ironically, it has made me stronger yet more humble, focused but more adaptable. I have come to believe there are some core aspects that are unique to being a woman, in tune with our feminine energy. 

These are gifts that we can offer ourselves and others, and the world with love...

Surrender

The masculine energy is all about persistence. The female energy surrenders. I am not talking about allowing ourselves to be abused or mistreated - I am talking about surrendering to life itself, to the experience, to the moment, to God...

On the rare occasions I have surrendered 100%, letting go of all my own wants and plans and expectations, I have experienced the most wonderful state of bliss. (I wrote about it here: 5 Things I Learnt in Heaven.)

We have been conditioned to think that surrender is a sign of weakness. I believe the very opposite is true. Surrender – giving up the need to be in control – takes incredible courage. Sometimes it is the hardest thing in the world! It is an act of the deepest faith. 

We may reach this point only after we have thoroughly exhausted ourselves by trying to keep all the balls in the air, organize everyone and oversee every aspect of our life. It can be a surprising discovery that the world doesn't actually fall apart if we step back and simply allow some things to "be", rather than trying to force our own will all the time. 

Even consider for a moment the female sexual organs, they are the epitome of surrender - dark and soft and yielding. “Soft” and “yielding” does not imply weakness, in fact, it is these same qualities that enable the birth canal to expand and unfold, and safely deliver a new life into the world.

The feminine energy knows that there are mysterious, unseen, powerful forces at work in the universe. The feminine energy is open and intuitive to these, and willing to be guided by these forces that others might call “fate” or even “coincidence”.

Faith

This is a quiet assurance of our ability to manifest the very experience and result that we need. (Not always what we want, mind you!! But always what we need...). And when that experience comes our way, we will not only meet it, we will rise up to embrace the challenge.

This is a deep inner knowing that WE WILL BE OKAY - whether in a relationship or alone, with children or without, with a career or without...we already possess everything we need to flourish and grow.

Marianne Williamson once wrote: “Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us.” That quote is so often attributed to Nelson Mandela, but it came from the heart of a woman...

Love Fully

Only in the past 2 years, I started to become aware that I withhold love from others, for fear of being taken advantage of.

The truth is, it’s not that I'm afraid of being taken advantage of per se, I was afraid that if I did get taken advantage of, I wouldn't have the confidence to speak up and deal with it assertively. It really stemmed from a lack of faith in myself – to set boundaries, to say no, to speak up when it was awkward or uncomfortable.

To love fully is an act of courage. It puts us in a position of vulnerability – which is why it takes a strong person to go there. We are stating that we will give of ourselves, regardless of the eventual outcome.

Mass media bombards us with songs like we “can’t live without him” and “I’ll be your slave”. This diminishes our true power. We will be just fine “without him”, and deep down, we know that.

Acknowledging this allows us to love deeply and fearlessly, to give ourselves completely to the joy of this moment, this embrace, this connection... and not be distracted by what may, or may not, be tomorrow.

Honor Our Role As Mothers and Nurturers.

Our bodies bring forth new life.

The feminine energy tends toward caring and nurturing and making a home, whether we have actually birthed a baby or not. We listen to our friends problems and console and sympathize, we delight in decorating or arranging our own homes.

Despite the natural desire to nurture others, this can sometimes deplete our energies to such an extent that we find ourselves unable to nurture ourselves.

I believe it is vital that we nurture ourselves , for two reasons. One being that giving and giving (without putting back in) eventually results in depletion. At this point, we are empty, and resentment is bound to set in.

The other reason is that being happy and fulfilled (filled full) is possibly the most loving gift we can give to our children, our family, and our selves.When we are exhausted and running on empty, we have nothing to give others - we simply can't give away what we don't have.

Nurturing ourselves also includes nourishing our body with pure, living foods, nourishing our spirit by doing what we love, that which lights us up, and nourishing our mind by choosing energizing and uplifting thoughts.

It's okay to ask for help. The feminine spirit thrives on co-operation, not on some misguided competition to see who can be the strongest and most stoic and "go it alone".  By the same token, it's time to stop viewing other females as "competition" and instead support and co-operate with each other as sisters.

Self-aware

For too long, we have been lulled into believing that others know best for us. There is nothing more dis-empowering, than the belief that we cannot trust ourselves!

So many people believe that a doctor knows their body better than they do. Just because someone has studied the textbooks and knows the scientific names for the anatomy and physiology of the human body...does not make him more of an expert than the person who has actually inhabited that body since before birth! No certificate or textbook or qualification knows your body more intimately than you know your body.

For several decades now, we’ve listened while experts argued and changed their minds over how we should discipline our children, whether eggs are good or bad, whether margarine is healthier than butter, whether women can “have it all”...and on and on it goes. Instead of empowering us, the barrage of information has just confused us, and made us more reliant on the supposed expertise of others.

(What does it take to be an “expert” anyway?! Is there a special course? Must one reach a certain level of qualification or experience? Or if they talk about a subject long enough and eloquently enough, others will inevitably bestow them the title of expert?)

Deep down, we know what is right. We’ve always known! But we tend to get confused by all the conflicting information and voices, and we begin have doubts that we may not actually know what’s best for us! Every question can be answered in the body - just visit a trained kinesiologist if you have any doubts. Kinesiologists are not trained to know what's "best" for your body, they're simply trained to "hear" what your own body is saying. 

Our bodies are always talking to us...if only we cared to listen, or seek to understand. Our body constantly gives us feedback about what we ate, whether we're getting enough sleep or nutrients, whether we're happy and fulfilled. When we don't listen, the symptoms become more pronounced until finally, illness or disease manifests. Sometimes sickness is the only way our body can make itself heard...

Listening to our intuition, our “gut feeling”, our inner voice is like any habit – it gets easier with practice.

Sometimes I imagine what our world might look like, if the masculine and feminine energies were both honored, both respected and both utilized – neither one dominating or “in control”, but both complementing the other and working together for the benefit of all.

Would there be domestic violence? Would there be wars? As the bringers of new life into the world, I believe we are intensely aware of the fragility and the preciousness of life. 

We women have so much to offer the world - not by contorting ourselves into unnatural (and unfulfilled) versions of whatever the status quo demands - but by giving ourselves permission to embrace and nurture our forgotten, feminine self. Nobody else is going to give us permission!

Every woman who does this makes it a little easier, a little more acceptable, for their fellow women to do the same...

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How To Meet A Kindred Spirit

Have you ever had a person walk into your life and "see" you instantly, while others have been around you a lifetime, and still haven't noticed who you really are?

I think of these people as "kindred spirits". It's like our souls know and understand each other. 

They don't always stay a long time, sometimes they share our journey for mere moments or months, but we remember them forever. Perhaps they stay only long enough to teach us, or support us during a specific time in our lives (and us in their lives).

Looking back over my lifetime, I've been blessed with a number of kindred spirits over the last two decades.

Some of them are still in my life today, others have long since moved on, but each time I think of them I offer up a little prayer of gratitude that they graced my life in the first place, and send out best wishes to them, wherever they are now. 

What about if you crave that kind of deep sense of connection, but can't seem to find it anywhere?

Well, there's a few things you can do to increase the odds.

Set The Intention And Then Trust It Will Happen At The Right Time: The most joyous and deepest connections are made when they just “happen”, not from trying to force something that isn't. Your kindred spirit will show up…and probably when you least expect it. Keep alert for opportunities but don’t stress and don’t try to contrive a relationship because you long for that connection.

It can not, and will not, be faked or forced!

They say if you want to find like-minded friends, hang out at places which interest you in hopes of meeting someone with similar interests. But I’m not convinced that’s how it works with kindred spirits. 

In almost every case, my kindred spirit came from a completely different background, had a completely different lifestyle, and even looked different to my usual circle of friends. And perhaps that’s how it’s meant to be? Maybe a kindred spirit is not there to agree with everything we already know so that we can carry on our lives exactly as before. A kindred spirit changes our lives and shows us a completely different way of looking at the world. They are divine teachers, if you will. 

Are you ready to have your life changed like that? Are you willing to embrace someone who turns upside down all your comfortable assumptions and lovingly-held opinions? If the answer is no, you may be unconsciously sabotaging every opportunity for a kindred spirit connection.

Be Authentic: How will your kindred spirit recognize you, if you're busy being someone else? When we show our true selves, without the social masks, we implicitly give other people permission to do the same. This makes it easier for kindred spirits to find each other…rather than trying to wade through all the superficial stuff or simply go by like two ships passing in the night.

Yes, it can be scary to be yourself, in a world that seems to function on the unspoken understanding that we all quench our natural impulses to dance or run or sing loudly, and instead sit quietly and make polite conversation about the weather and the traffic...

Don’t Judge a Book By It’s Cover: When I look back on my life, the kindred spirits stand out in my memory, even years later because they made an impact on my life, and such a soul connection doesn't happen every day. But rarely were my kindred spirits like me in appearance or fashion sense or even musical taste. 

I was a good church girl, and one of the kindred spirits who opened up my mind to whole new ways of seeing and empathizing was a beer-loving, bass player in a heavy-metal band. Don’t ask me what drew us together, but we whiled away many magical hours talking about the meaning of life and what we would be when we finally “grew up” (whenever that magical event occurs!) and everything in between.

The importance of being open to other people, no matter what their appearance, was really driven home to me recently. Just a few weeks ago, I was blessed by another kindred spirit who quite literally came out of the blue. The circumstances were so unlikely that I can only put it down to divine orchestration.

A missed call from a wrong number, then a conversation that got off on the wrong foot entirely, somehow became that glorious moment when you realize you have stumbled across someone who “sees” you and “gets” you right down to the core of your being.

I didn’t meet the guy for several weeks, and when I did, I was somewhat surprised to discover that he looked nothing like the person I pictured in my head. From our phone conversations, I knew him to be incredibly smart and “switched on” and driven, but also compassionate, humble, kind and a true humanitarian at heart. (A typical Virgo!)

In “real life” I was surprised to discover that he dressed and walked with that typical hip-hop style and swagger. For some reason, I just wasn't expecting that, and it was a reminder to me: Never underestimate or dismiss another person because of they way they look. 

We risk missing out on some of the most amazing, life-changing interactions if we automatically rule out people who look or act or think differently to us.

If I passed that young man on the street, I might never have guessed that he is a complete master of his trade, due to unwavering dedication to learning and hard work, or that most of his work is done for free, for people who can’t afford to pay him. I probably wouldn’t have guessed that he dreams of setting up a factory to train unemployed youth in the poorest neighbour-hood. I certainly wouldn’t have guessed that no matter what time he goes to bed each night, he’s up at 4am every morning to do his morning prayers and worship.

Kindred spirits recognize each other by the way they make each other feel, NOT the way they look.

Be honest: It's okay to tell someone that you feel a connection with them and you'd love to stay in contact. You'll know if the feeling is mutual - they'll seek out your presence as much as you seek out theirs...It won't feel like hard work or too much effort. You'll simply find a way to be in each other's lives.

But understand that everyone has their own path and their own journey to complete. Sometimes life pulls us in different directions, and we have to be willing to let them go, with love. It is enough to know that our lives are better for having known them (and hopefully theirs are better for having known us!), and we are better for having allowed them into our hearts...

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5 Things I Learnt in Heaven

The weekend before last, I had a mundane experience suddenly turn into a profound glimpse of heaven.

We live in Tonga - a group of islands in the South Pacific - and currently stay with my husband's family. It's a large household, consisting of a matriarch and her husband, several children, their spouses and grand-children. 

We have our own van, while the rest of the family have an old blue truck. It's old (I know, I said that already, but it really is OLD), rusted and probably ready for retirement. It seems to be always breaking down at the furthest point away from home, and I, with our trusty four-wheel drive, am called upon to come and tow it back home.

They've had someone trying to repair it. You don't ring your local garage and book it in with the mechanic here in the islands. Instead, you know someone who knows someone else, who is a mechanic so you track them down and ask them to come and fix your van.

In return, you might give them a hot meal or a packet of smokes (if you can afford it). Sometimes the only payment is a sincere "Thank you".

In this case, the mechanic was the brother of my sister-in-law. He lives on the other side of the island (about 50kms away), so each time they phone him, he has to try and hitch a ride over here.

On this particular Saturday, it was getting late in the evening when he finally finished up working on their van (it still wouldn't start, because they had to wait on a new part) and packed up his tools. I don't know this man, except to say hello, but I asked him how he would get home and he replied that he would try to hitch a ride.

On a Saturday evening after dark, his chances were pretty slim, and I knew he'd probably end up walking for hours. All this for the privilege of doing an unpaid favor for someone else, which took up his entire Saturday afternoon!

On an island where diesel costs $2.93/liter, you don't drive unless you have to, but obviously I couldn't let this one slide by in good conscious, so I offered to drive him home, to which he gratefully accepted. All went well, until about halfway there, I was pulled over by police.

The officer asked me to step out from the vehicle and come and look at my lights. When I walked to the front of the van, I realized that only one light was working. He asked to see my license, to which I confessed that I had left it at home. He informed that there would be a $50 fine and I would have 21 days to pay it.

The mechanic was obviously feeling pretty badly by this time. He jumped out from the van and went to talk to the police officer. When the police officer returned with his paperwork, he informed me that he would just give me a warning for the lack of license, but it was a $30 fine for a non-working light.

At this point, I was thinking the thoughts you might expect in such a situation. "This is not fair! Just try to do a good deed for someone I hardly know, and this is what I get?!"

But then an entirely different thought entered my mind. Why was I even mad? I was entirely happy just a moment ago - feeling good about doing a random act of kindness - so what had changed? Sure, I needed to pay $30 at some point in the future but right now, in this moment, I'm still absolutely fine.

And that was when I experienced a glimpse of heaven, a wave of absolute bliss washed over me, and I knew with certainty that transcendence is only ever one choice away.

If I had to pick one word to describe what it takes to get a glimpse of heaven, it is this: Surrender. Complete and utter surrender of all the props and safety nets we cling to, surrender of our carefully crafted masks, surrender of the worries that exist in our minds only, surrender of our comfortable fears and phobias that we wrap around us like protection. Complete and utter surrender to the loving soul we are, at the very core of our being.

You see, here in this "poor" (monetarily speaking) country, I am constantly getting requests for money, for transport, for use of my computer/knife/matches/phone charger/oil. The list is endless really. While I agree to the requests where I possibly can, my mind is usually thinking about what an inconvenience it is, how much of my time it's going to take, how much it's going to cost me.

Oh, and I never agree with too much enthusiasm, for fear that would encourage them to make even more requests...

But then I looked into heaven, and this is what I realized...(The experience was so profound, I'm not sure I can do it justice with mere words, but let me give it my best shot!)

1. In heaven, there is only now. There is no such thing as that phone bill that was due last week, or that looming deadline next month...or any of the other problems that constantly crowd and trouble our minds, because last week and next month don't exist. In heaven, there is only now - this moment right here.

2. In heaven, our true nature is obvious. In heaven, it is perfectly clear that we are all loving souls, and that fact is not muddied or obscured or blotted out completely by painful childhoods, abuse or trauma, un-forgiveness, misguided attempts to be noticed or accepted by others or the myriad other ways we torture ourselves and others because we can't express or request what our soul really craves - LOVE.

In heaven, we simply are who we are: Loving and loved. There is simply no reason to hide or mask this fact.

3. In heaven, we all matter. We are all vital participants in the great dance of life. Sometimes I lead and you follow, sometimes you teach and I learn, sometimes I will pick you up off the floor, and other times you will do the same for me. No-one is greater or more special, no-one is more wanted or less likely. We are all so very necessary.

One morning, my friend was at an airport and noticed a man sitting by himself. Something caused her to sit down and begin talking to him. By the time she was called to catch her flight, she had learned that his wife had left him recently and he was struggling with depression. Before she stood to leave, she leaned over and hugged him, and he confided that he had been sitting there in the airport, thinking about committing suicide. 

Maybe you were put here on this earth, at this particular time, in this particular place, to sit down and talk to that lonely stranger in an airport? Perhaps you will never know how many lives you have touched, but trust that you were placed here on this earth to share part of the dance with them...

4. In heaven, there is nothing to fear. There is no reason to fret that if I give away my food today, my own children will go hungry tomorrow, because in heaven we know there is abundance and we'll be taken care of, no matter what.

There is no reason to fear being vulnerable or looking like a fool, because everybody else has taken their mask off, too.

There is no reason to be afraid of anything, because we understand that every experience is divinely orchestrated to teach us the lesson we most need to learn, at this point in our journey.

5. In heaven, we know we are wise. Somehow the age of the "expert" has de-valued and eroded our own instinctive knowing.

We have turned into a bunch of dithering dependents with no confidence in our ability to make a good decision all on our very own! We are waiting for Dr Phil to hold our hand and show us how to fix our relationships, when our heart was whispering the answer all along.

In heaven, we are all our own best experts. We know that the answers we seek are within us already, and all that is required from us is to listen and discern.

Now, I confess my moment of bliss was short-lived. It was soon crowded out by the usual frustrations and worries. But that one moment was enough to show me what is possible.

The heaven I saw is not some magical, faraway place where the sun always shines and we lay on fluffy white clouds and sing soprano. Boring! But instead, the kingdom of heaven is within you, real and accessible in this lifetime, just waiting for you to shed your burdens and expectations and illusions and masks and surrender to the Divine.

How To Accept Your Self and Your Life...."As Is"

I've always been a fairly "ambitious" person - it seems to come with the territory of being a Capricornian.

Not that being ambitious is a bad thing, per se, but ambition seems to come with an inherent sense of dissatisfaction. Ambition says I want more. I want better. I want bigger...

It's something I've struggled with - how to strike that balance between aiming high and dreaming big, while accepting and being grateful for where I am right now.

During the last 12 months, a recurring theme running through my experiences, has been the need to accept what is.

Accept my life as it is right now (and not for what it may be in the future).

Accept myself as I am right now (and not for who I'll be one day...).

Accept people as they are (and not for who I wish them to be.)

I've done a lot of thinking and soul-searching on this issue, and though I still have a ways to go, I wanted to share some of the epiphanies and realizations that have been helpful to me, in learning how to simply accept what is.

1. The realization that everything that happens to me is a gift.

This is just as true for the experiences that we might label as "problems", as it is for the experiences we enjoy and strive for. 

Struggle, disappointment, sorrow...these are gifts that allow us to fully experience and appreciate their opposites. We cannot fully experience (let alone appreciate) happiness if we have never experienced sadness. There is no such thing as abundance, if there is no lack. One gives meaning to the other.

2. The knowledge that, on a soul level, I chose this experience.

I attracted this! Our conscious mind might never have chosen disappointments or sadness or loss (in fact, we would probably avoid it at all costs), but our soul (our true self) attracts and manifests the very situation we need, in order to learn and grow and become the person we were meant to be. 

I just finished reading "Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah" by Richard Bach, and among the many quotes I loved, was this little gem:

"There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in it's hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts."

Our thoughts create our reality, so if my circumstances are not to my liking, there is no point in railing against God/the economy/the government/the people who annoy me/the weather/the "elites"...etc, etc, because I, and I alone, am responsible for my thoughts and the way I perceive and react and experience this life.

This is both sobering and liberating, all at once.

3. Remembering that we cannot change the past, but we also cannot change the present.

It is what it is. Sure, we get to influence what happens next, but we simply cannot change what is right now. It is futile and draining to even try.

For so much of my life, I have struggled (in vain, I might add) against what is. I have railed and resisted, not realising that you strengthen that which you resist (kind of like being a sparring partner for a champion boxer. Each round we resist him only strengthens him and allows him to perfect his technique further...). What a relief to finally stop resisting and start going with the flow!

4. Reminding myself that nothing - that's NO THING (or NO BODY, for that matter) - can affect me or control me...unless I choose to allow it.

I can choose to struggle against or I can choose to accept. 

Either way, the choice is always mine.

It's called free will. It's the most powerful - and most under-utilized - choice in the Universe. The power to choose our own thoughts. Too bad that so many of us unthinkingly concede that power to people and circumstances outside of ourselves. "He made me so mad..." (Nobody has the power to "make" you feel anything. Only you can do that!) and "She left me with no choice..." (Stop right there. You ALWAYS have choices. Even Nelson Mandela, inside his prison cell for 27 years, had choices. He was free to choose forgiveness or hatred. Anger or peace. And the moment he realized this, he became free-er than many people who have never seen the inside of a jail-cell...)

5. Realizing that I may not be perfect...but I'm perfectly where I should be.

The beauty of life and humanity and nature, is that it is constantly evolving, ever changing...such is the way of things. I am not the same as I was yesterday, or last week or last year.

I, too, am changing and evolving with the great cycle of life.

Rather than always looking ahead at how far I've still got to go, it's okay to sometimes look back and see how far I've come....and know that everything is perfectly as it should be. 

I am a work-in-progress, perfectly imperfect, beautifully flawed...

Trust the journey.

My Incredible Experience of Travelling With No Money.

I went to Australia – by myself – for Christmas and New Year, to visit my family.

When I booked my ticket in October, I wasn’t sure we could really afford for me to have this trip, but it was my mum's 60^th birthday party , and we had organized a party for her.

I began to eagerly list all the things I might do in Australia. I could spend time with my family, then spend the last week in Sydney, sourcing and packing a crate of supplies for our business, shopping and catching up with a couple of my friends! I could get a years supply of books to bring back with me (Imagine!).

But then the weeks flew by, our income trickled to a halt. So I began to compromise.

“I guess I don’t really need to hire a car in Sydney. I could take public transport…”

“ Oh well, I suppose I don’t have to spend that many days in Sydney…”

“ I’ll just have to forget about getting a crate of supplies. Maybe I can just purchase some extra luggage, and bring it back in my bag…”

During this time I was filled with an heavy sense of anxiety about having enough money for the trip. When I delved into my feelings, I had my first surprising insight.

Money is the crutch I’ve used to avoid facing my deepest, darkest fear. 

For all my adult life, I’ve been secretly afraid of being a nuisance to others. This fear has caused me to: not pursue friendships, discourage others from helping me, stay silent when given bad service, pretend I was ok when really I wasn’t...

Now, I realize the exact incident this stems from and I remember how unwanted I felt at the time (rightly or wrongly). I have done everything in my power to avoid ever feeling that way again, including always trying to pay my own way (thank you very much!), encouraging my friends to tell me their problems but not “burdening” them with my own..

I figured that if I’m so useful and give more than I ask for, then surely people will always want me around? Surely I won’t ever have to face that cold, lonely feeling of being unwanted ever again?

This was the real reason I was feeling so anxious about the trip. If I didn’t have money to pay my own way, contribute towards groceries etc…then I might become a nuisance – and that must be avoided at all costs!! 

The simple act of recognizing and acknowledging my fear was enough to release a lot of the anxiety.

Time sped by, money was tight, and then gradually, I had to begin letting go of my compromises, too. 

By some miracle, I’d managed to keep some money in our bank account. One day, I simply got out of bed and decided to take out the money to buy fruit and groceries for the family, and leave the rest with my husband to buy food while I was away.

With this decision, I finally released the very last hope I was clinging to – that I would have enough spending money to buy some clothes for the kids, and maybe some health foods to bring back with me.

The feeling of relief when I let go of that last desire was immense. I almost danced with joy. And therein was my second insight.

99% of the time our thoughts about a certain event/circumstance are worse than the actual event. Our anxiety/frustration/worry is simply caused by us wanting something other than what is.

When we let go of our desire for things to be different, the frustration/anxiety/annoyance disappears.

After that point, with only a week or two before flying out, I began to get really excited about my trip. After all, I hadn’t seen my family, or been back to Oz in almost a year. I began to see it as an adventure, a new experience, an opportunity to just "be me" without money (my safety crutch) and my children (my other safety crutches. It's amazing how you can avoid a.) starting up conversations, b.) looking awkward/lonely in the corner by yourself, or c.) meeting new people...by fussing/being distracted over your children...)

During this time, I had an email from my friend Kylie Ofiu, who assured me that her experience of traveling with no money had been wonderful, that she was looked after at every turn and she got to do things that she would probably never have done if she’d had money.

This further confirmed my decision to see this as an exciting adventure, which I could simply allow to unfold before me, rather than trying to control every step along the way (my usual modus operandi).

This was to be my first time away from my 2yo daughter. I had worried over whether she’d be okay without me (even though she was surrounded by dad, brothers, aunties and nanna). I had worried that I’d be okay without her!

As per usual, the thinking about it was worse than the actual occasion. She cried when I left and I felt teary and awful. But as I sat in the departure lounge, I simply made up my mind that it would do me (or her) no good whatsoever to mope or fret. I would simply enjoy this time with my family, and when I came back, I would enjoy being back with my children again.

And so it was…

 I boarded that plane in the tropics, dressed in the coolest possible clothes and proceeded to shiver  my way across the Pacific. Who knew airplanes were such frigidly cold places???

I arrived at Sydney airport in the evening and headed to the ATM. We'd had a small amount of money come into our account, and I was relieved to see that I had almost $200AUD. 

Somehow I had to make it last 2 and a half weeks. At this point, I had given up all thought of buying clothes for the kids, and health foods. I set the money aside to buy my nieces and nephews Christmas presents for our family get-together, some food while traveling, and my train ticket back to Sydney, at the end of my holiday.

My family live in Central NSW, about 8 hours drive from Sydney. I had a train ticket to travel west, early the next morning. I’d decided in advance that I would simply bunker down for the night, somewhere in the airport (another adventure!). I was pretty sure I’d seen others doing this before.

I wandered around the shops for a while, delighting in looking at all the stuff. I spent an age in the book-shop, flicking through the books and reading bits and pieces. I decided that I just had to have a book to keep me company during a night spent in an airport.

So I decided to pick out a few that I liked, then buy whichever one was the cheapest.

The cheapest one turned out to be “E-Squared” by Pam Grout. Little did I know…It was a decision that would set the tone for my trip (and long afterwards too - I've just re-read it for the 4th time, I'm so enamored of it!).

Feeling pleased with my purchase, I wandered around some more, until my feeling pleased soon turned into feeling panicked when I realized that the shops were all closing, and there were no more flights leaving or arriving after 11pm.

Yes, friends, I had entirely forgotten to factor Sydney’s flight curfew into my plans.

Would I be kicked out of the airport then? Would I have to spend the night on the street somewhere? At this point, I may have been indulging in a few little “poor me” thoughts. One panicky phone call back to my husband later, which succeeded only in panicking my husband as well, I decided I’d better do something.

I was too nervous to ask one of the "official" looking people, so I approached the friendly girl who had served me at Vodafone earlier. 

She assured me that:

Yes, the airport does close from 11pm – 3am

No, you’re not meant to sleep in the airport, but….

Yes, people always do, and…

No, they won’t kick me out.

Phew! The adventure was back on again…

She pointed me around the corner near the restrooms, where there were some chairs, and a few back-packers already settled in for the night. I sidled into a chair, trying to look nonchalant and experienced at this sort of mildly subversive behavior.

I made myself comfortable, put my suitcase under my feet, and opened up my book. It was fascinating, but I soon became uncomfortably aware of the blast of cold night air that rushed in every time the big automatic doors opened and closed. (My singlet-top and sarong were hardly suitable..)

There were night workers on little tractors that beeped loudly, bringing in great loads of trolleys, workmen fixing lights…it was a wonder anyone slept through the noise, not to mention the fluorescent lights glaring down on us.

I rummaged through my suitcase for another sarong and wrapped this one around my shoulders in an attempt to keep warm. The chairs kept filling up, until there were about 30 – 35 of us. The seasoned back-packers were prepared, with beanies and fluffy socks and jackets.

I soon gave up all pretense of trying to look “nonchalant and experienced” as I began pulling items of clothing out of my suitcase and draping them around/over/under myself in an effort to stay warm. My feet were freezing. Why, oh why, had I not thought to pack even one measly pair of socks!

When my eyes began to feel too gritty, I’d lay my book down and try to have a little sleep. Unfortunately, we’re talking about upright chairs with metal armrests. Hardly sleeping material! With my small backpack lodged under my neck, and twisted at an angle, I managed to doze off a few times.

I should mention here, that I was booked to leave on the train quite early the next morning. In order to get to Central station on time, I’d need to leave the airport by just after 6am. If I missed my train, I would be stranded in Sydney, and it would take nearly all the money I had left to catch another train the following day.

Still, I didn't bother to set my alarm, since sleep thus far had been confined to light dozing for no longer than ten or fifteen minutes at a stretch.

At some point during the night, I decided to start the first experiment outlined in E-Squared. It was simply making a request that the existence of God, or the “universal energy field” be proven to me within the next 48hrs. Some simple, but undeniable, proof that a Higher Power was not only present, but listening...

Turns out, I didn’t have to wait very long. Sometime after 3:30am, I finally fell into a very deep, very exhausted, sleep. At long last, I “came to” with the sensation of something moving on my feet. Still, it took me a few minutes to realize I wasn’t dreaming, there really was something moving on my feet! I groggily opened my eyes and saw a girl on the chair opposite me. In her sleep, she had stretched out her legs, and rested her fluffy sock-clad feet on mine. While I reveled in the delicious sleepy feeling of warm feet, I suddenly realized with horror that it was daylight already!! I scrabbled around for my phone, and looked at the time. Ten minutes to six. Just enough time to go to the bathroom, have a quick wash and change of clothes, then head to the train. Phew!

It wasn’t until I was safely settled on my train, heading westwards, that I allowed myself to sit back and relax. And I got to thinking…If that girl hadn’t put her feet on mine…and if she hadn’t been fidgeting in her sleep at just that precise time and woken me…And then I realized. I’d gotten the sign I was looking for! Indeed, Some One was taking care of me.

The feeling of peace – of knowing that I was being cared for, no matter what my budget looked like – washed over me, and the remembrance of it stayed with me long after.

My mum and dad traveled an hour to meet me at the bus-station in a little country town. I went on to have the most loveliest of times, spent with my mum and dad, catching up with my brothers and their families, my Nanna and Grandad, and aunties and uncles, some visiting from interstate.

As impossible as it sounds, I began to notice that the things I had wished for (some new clothes, and health foods) started to manifest, in ways I never planned.

•      I found a gift card in my handbag from last Christmas, which still had $28 on it. Enough to buy a few things in the post-Christmas sales.
•        Two people cleaned out unwanted/too small clothes and gave them to me. One lot fitted my older son, the other lot fitted my younger son. 
•     For my birthday, my mum gave me some money and I was able to buy some (much-needed) new underwear.
•  My younger brother and his wife also gave me money for my birthday.
• My other brother and his wife, offered to buy me a plane ticket back to Sydney for my birthday, which I gladly accepted.
• My mum and I did a combined order of some health foods online, and when I tried to pay for my share, Mum gave the money back to me, so we used the money the following day for my birthday lunch and admission to the old motor museum.
• My granddad wanted the whole family to go out for Chinese one evening. I prepared to use some of my birthday money to pay for my meal. My granddad insisted on paying for everyone.

At every turn, I was looked after and made to feel loved. It was one of the most exhilarating, and humbling experiences of my life.

On the last morning, my parents drove me to the airport. Before I boarded the plane, my mum handed me an envelope. When the plane was in the air, I opened it and found $300. I cried, and said a silent prayer of thanks, as I watched the brown paddocks and roads turn into miniature toys below me.

As we flew over the mountains, I thought to myself: “Hey, wouldn’t it be great to see a peace sign from up here?!” and immediately laughed at the ridiculousness of it. Turns out, God has a sense of humor, too...

Less than ten minutes later, as we flew over the market gardens of Western Sydney, I looked down and could hardly believe my eyes. A huge circular sprinkler had made a giant circle of greenery, in a dry brown paddock, and the tracks leading to the sprinkler in the center, created a perfect “peace” sign.

A few minutes later, as we flew over the inner suburbs, I glanced down and saw the word "Peace" scrawled in spray-paint across an urban parking lot.

I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.

It seemed a fitting finish to a holiday, where I had proven, over and over, the message from the front cover of E-Squared: Our thoughts create our reality.

I had 7 hours in Sydney before catching my plane to Tonga, so I stored my baggage and took a train out to a suburban mall.

 I was able to get clothes for all my family (including myself. A terribly exciting thing when you have basically lived out of the same suitcase of clothes for almost two years.), a couple of books, some nuts and dried fruit, some natural toothpaste (another terribly exciting thing, after brushing our teeth with water for over 3 months), before heading back to the airport.

I boarded the night flight to Tonga, where I arrived at 2am local time and my husband and babies were all waiting to meet me…

My babies were excited about the Christmas presents from Nanna and Grandpa, but I was excited about the lessons I was bringing back with me, to incorporate into my life.

When I find myself getting stressed or tensed over something, I remind myself of what I experienced. God is abundant. The Universe is always in a state of constant flow. If things are "stuck", or not working out, it's not God....it's me, getting in the way, blocking the flow, trying desperately to force things to happen my way, when the Universe has already heard my wish and is trying to fulfill it in a way that I haven't yet dreamed of...

This feeling of energy and flow, has become a crucial indicator. When it's with me, I know I'm aligned with the Master Plan, and on the right track. When I'm "stuck", anxious or tense, I know it's time to re-think what I'm doing, release my need to be in control, and simply allow the next step to be revealed or manifested.

It all started out as a lesson about money, and turned into a life-changing, humbling lesson about that all-encompassing, all mighty, all knowing universal force that we know simply as: "God".